A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend has got M.E. (Myalgic Encephalopathy) and Fibromyalgia. I love her to pieces but recently, things have started to go downhill. i respect that she needs her time and her space but im finding this all quite hard to cope with now. at the start of our relationship we worked round her condition quite well i think but now, its almost like she has given up; not only on me, but on life in general. my feelings for her are quite blatantly far stronger than her feelings for me at the moment. she is very depressed and her feelings for me are being affected by this. i have always offered her every ounce of support that she may need from me. ive always said to her that i am there for her if ever she needs me, but it is almost like she is pushing me away. i can't talk to her as every answer, even to the simplest of questions, is always "i don't know". i don't know whether i am right or wrong to be with her or what to do, i am so confused about everything and it is starting to get me very depressed now. as i said, i love her to bits, but i'm at my wits end now. what can i do? what can she do? please help!
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female
reader, DeeDoc  +, writes (28 January 2007):
 THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: Oh sweetheart, I feel for the both of you. Bless your heart for standing by her side. I believe that she is pushing you away because she doesn't want you to see her like this or maybe wants you to have a life without a condition such as M.E. At one point in my life, the doctors thought I had fibromyalgia. It turned out that I have rheumatoid arthritis. VERY painful. Pretty much the same symtoms. I have had a couple of surgeries and plenty of self-given injections (Embrel). BUT!......I am in total remission! I have been pain-free for about 7 years now. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I understand how she must feel about you being there. But sweetie, if you love her, stress the fact that you love her and WANT to be with her through the good and bad. Look at me!! I can run, type, stoop, etc. as oppose to not doing so 7 years ago. The main thing is she has to WANT to "kick this conditions arse", as I did. I wanted it so badly. The doctors could not understand why my bones had stop deterriating and actually started forming again. Well, I am a walking miracle. Miracles do still happen. Please feel free to PM me at anytime. If she has any questions concerning mindset or coping, PLEASE PM me. My heart goes out to you and to her. I know she feels a bit hopeless, but I was there at one point and I will NEVER go back. My spirit is at the utmost HIGH. Let her know that even though it is there and valid in her life, she cannot let it RUN her life! It might take a while, but it can be done. Diet has a lot to do with it also. She needs to stay away from grease! That is a killer! Hamburgers, fried chicken, actually, anything that is fried will produce PAIN! A healthy diet (Atkins) is a sure fired way to reduce pain. Ground meat (for me) is my main pain. Ask her to research the Atkins diet, even though she might not be overweight, the diet is a must. Please look in to her eating habits. Please keep in touch or at least PM me on her food intake. I might be of some help there. Also, the weather plays a role in this scenerio. If there is rain in the future, she will feel it. Let me know, please. You are a sweetheart, don't let her go through this alone. She does need you whether she says so or not. Good luck sweetie, and please PM me. =o)
A
female
reader, xLEAHx +, writes (28 January 2007):
 It sounds to me as if your g/f needs counciling if this medical condition is depressing her,i can understand what its like and what strain its putting on your relationship because of this condition she's proberly thinking lifes not worth living and thats why she's given up, she just wants things back to how they used to be,but sadly it won't, your doing the best you can in supporting her and there's not much more you can do, as you say you have tried your best,just keep on giving and showing her love and support and hang in there,all she needs is you to give up on her and walk out that would completly finish her,get her to see her doctor to put her in touch with a councilor,im sure theres also support groups she can attend or contact with ppl who have the same condition which might help.
Good luck hope this helps
xLEAHx
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