A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 25 years old and have been dating my girlfriend for almost 5 and a half years. I just found out that she slept with her friend, another female.We "took a break" last week for less than 24 hours then she came back to me saying she was sorry. She felt confused and kept saying that I didn't do anything wrong. She said that she was just very busy with stuff and didn't want me to be dragged along. Here's the twist: She does NOT know that I know that she slept with that girl. I happened to see a text conversation on her phone. I know she's sorry for what she did, but she still hasn't told me that she cheated. We've been together for 5 years and I can't imagine life without her. I want to be with her and work through this, but I'm just concerned that she hasn't told me.Do I bring this up to her? Do I pretend like I don't know about it and wait to see if she tells me? I can't imagine breaking up with her, I just can't.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): This exact situation just happened to me. She didn't tell me, but I knew there was something more going on with her friend. A few days ago her friend posted pictures on facebook of my girlfriend naked in her bed with scratch marks all over her back passed out. My heart sank. I felt totally cheated on. It doesn't matter that it's another girl, she literally *had sex with* her!Your situation is different because she hasn't been caught red handed, but I don't know how you can trust her at all. I would bring it up man, but that's just me. **Moderator note: Editted out a word with a different phrase with same meaning.
A
male
reader, SinVA +, writes (1 December 2008):
Bring it up with her. If she is sorry, she will apologize, and then it's up to you about what path to take next. 5 years is a long time, so you need to ask yourself if you can forgive her cheating and move on. I wouldn't try and ignore it, because you won't be able to. Also, pretending like you don't know will just make things messier when it comes out, and it will come out, later on down the road. Stop reading my entry here if you're only looking for monogamous solutions.
As a horny male, I feel obliged to let you know that if you play your cards right, you might be in bed with 2 women in no time.
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