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My GF broke up with me today and I just can't get her out of my head...

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Question - (12 September 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 September 2006)
A male United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

My gf broke up with me today, at first i went all hyper and in an almost sarcastic mood, but now ive been drinking lots of gin, and taken about 8 paracetamol, and ive also been crying loads, and everything i look at reminds me of her. I cant even look in the mirror without thinking about her doing her make up in the morning.

What can i do to make myself feel better? I've got lots of friends trying to help me but i just keep thinking about her and dont know what to do :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2006):

She broke up with u today. Come on, what did you expect? Give it some time, do other stuff, yeah it's going to be like this for a bit - for some, it will take a month or less, for others, a year and more. It all depends on how much of yourself has a stable foundation. If you're strong on the inside, then things like this will pass quicker over time. If you're weak in the inside, then you will continue to gloom over her.

Have I given u enough of a hint?

Also, gin and drugs? Gotta stop with that. I say stick with the gin, or better yet, sleep it off and take up mountain biking. 8]

BTW, where are your friends? How is your career looking up? Need some upgrading? Have some extra cash? Time for a vacation - I suggest a place like India where the culture is rich and ancient. Break out of the routine, and get on another set of tracks.

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A female reader, joeymac +, writes (12 September 2006):

without sounding 'gay' as such, if u feel like u can't go on u have to promise me u will see ur GP and explain that u have taken these paracetamol, even though it is only 8. the worst way to die is by overdose believe me, and the worst drug to overdose on is paracetamol - if ur unlucky enough to have survived a paracetamol overdose, chances are u will have sustained severe brain damage, they are evil things. do not attempt anything like this please, i did over an ex who slept with one of my best mates when i was younger and its the most humiliating thing i have ever done. i feel so stupid about it, and when u see how hurt ur friends and family are u will never do such a selfish thing again. good luck xx

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A female reader, uonlyliveonce United Kingdom +, writes (12 September 2006):

uonlyliveonce agony aunti've been here few times before n only way to heal a broken heart is to give it time you might cry for weeks but it will get better believe me. and alcohol is a depressant it might make you feel better at first but in long run it'll make you feel worse.

my bf of 3year split up with me when he found out i was pregnant i was heartbroke i wanted to die 2 i had no reason to go on. but look im still here i got through 9months of being pregnant and depressed and know im happyier than i've ever been its not the end of the world.

and i know when your down you wanna be alone but force yourself to go out with your friends because you will feel better. and remember theres people in much worse situations so dont think your only person in world who's felt like this.

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A male reader, lboy United Kingdom +, writes (12 September 2006):

lboy agony auntwell, all i can say is that you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel, you know get some closure thats all that you need.

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A female reader, Twiggygal +, writes (12 September 2006):

Twiggygal agony auntHello there.

I've gone through exactly what you're going through. It's a terrible feeling, but drinking and drugs is definately not going to help you any. Drinking numbs the pain, and you won't be able to face what really happened until you are sober.

I would definately say the first thing you should do is sit down and breathe deeply, and think about why things may have gone the way they did. Perhaps it was something you did, perhaps it was something she did, but maybe you have someone better out there right around the corner, waiting to meet someone like you.

You seem like a sensitive and very caring guy, and I'm sure you'll find someone extremely nice. But for now, I would focus on other things. Keep yourself occupied and face the things that remind you of her, and create new memories for those triggers.

In time, all wounds heal, as they say. Just take it easy, and remember to just relax. It sounds like you cared about her very deeply, and we've all had those people, but sometimes things just don't work out, but in time you'll find someone better for you.

Maybe you should find a good book to read, might I recommend a Steven King novel or something along those lines; a real page-turner if you will.

Sincerely,

Twiggygal

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A female reader, i no how u feel Australia +, writes (12 September 2006):

For one you need to stop taking the paracetamol unless you want to find yourself in hospital with liver failer. Paracetamol is a very dangerous drug when taken incorrectly as it won't kill you today it will kill you in a week when your liver fails, believe me this is a very horrible and painful way to go!!!! You need to get out of your house, go and stay with a friend or your family where they can keep an eye on you and be there for you. Maybe you should go and see a counseller, they can help you deal with the hurt and anger. Maybe in a month or two if your feeling a bit better you can arrange to meet with her to discuss what went wrong, so that you can get some closure. I know that it hurts and everyone is probably saying you'll get over her, theres plenty more fish in the sea etc etc.... in time you might see that they are right. Don't be afraid to mourn her, say goodbye to her and cry for her. Look after yourself, and try to find one thing everyday that will make you smile or laugh. Goodluck

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