A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy i have known for 4 years. We recently started talking and we like each other very much. However, he is about 5 years older than me and has a criminal record. I have never had a boyfriend and i have only a few friends. I'm not sure why but my friends are against our relationship. I really badly wanna go on with this relationship but i want my friends to be there for me too. My friends are more important to me than him. I have also told my friends that their opinion counts to me. I also decided that i am going to stop talking to him and have told my friends about my decision. And now i realise, what to i tell him? he would think i'm a freak and he would hate me if i stop talking to him just like that. in fact he is gonna ask me why i dont wanna talk to him any more, to which i don't know what to answer. And if i go on with my relationship, then i have to convince my friends... I don't know what to do. Please tell me the right thing to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankx:D
A
female
reader, Jesc  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 The right thing is nothing I could tell you, You already know the right thing you stated it.
You shouldn't be going after this man, If your friends that you hold very close to you say do not do it. For whatever their reasons are I'm sure it's cause they care for you and do not want you getting hurt in anyway.
If that's the choice you make.
Tell him,EX: "I have talked to my friends and took time to consider what it all means, I do not believe we should jump into this relationship as of now. I still need to make sure this is right. We can still be friends as we are now."
If that isn't a good idea just in case you feel to keep talking to him will led you to still want him and cause more conflict in you. Tell him,EX: "I have thought long and hard on this relationship(friendship). After talking to my friends about it, I believe we should stop talking for a while. I am sorry but I feel that this is the right thing to do, not for you, not for my friends but for me."
Try to come up with something along those lines. Maybe it will go right.
Now if it's you choose him.
Tell your friends EX: "You mean a lot to me, I enjoy our friendship so much. I really want you to give this guy a chance, let me date him. Let me make choices that could hurt me, or that could bring me the greatest happiness in life. I really do need but most of all want your support on this. It would really hurt me if you could not give me that blessing."
I hope this at lest some what helps you get an idea of what you would want to say to them.
Now, As i said before I can not tell you what is right or wrong. That you have stated it before. (You gave both of them a right and wrong)
I'll give you my thought. I believe even if you have known this guy for a long time, that you should listen to your friends and choose them. It's wrong when this moment in life comes but I'm sure everyone has to deal with it at some point. In some cases I have choose my husband(boyfriend at the time) over my friends. Then at others my friends over him. I had good reasoning for each choice I made when I explained it out that I didn't like this fighting over me to choose that they should be happy if I was happy regardless of what it might be. They both stopped. Now I'm not saying drop the man take your friends or vice versa. I am saying this is your life,your happiness. They should see how much it means to you.
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