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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Should i tell my friends it really hurts me that they've all ditched me for boyfriends and girlfriends?I recently moved to a new school and have found it really hard to fit in, anyway about a month or two ago I felt really sure that I had made a group of friends but they've all dropped me after recently getting together with other people, I'mnever invited out and they haven't even put me on there prom table :(I'm one of those girls who is permanently single for many reasons, I am not confident enogh to aproach someone, I'm not very attractive so people don't really pay me much attention and I'm shy. After feeling bad about myself for the last month due to being the single one I have begun to be talked over... All the time... Whenever I say stuff people just ignore me, it's everyone in my life, my parents, my teachers and worst off all my friendsI guess this is a two part question... Should I tell people how I feel, worthless, and what should I do about people just ignoring me Thnx:(x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Friends come and go in our life. There is nothing we can do when they leave us for a relationship.
We should bless them and congratulate them and we should not look at it negatively. This is natural when you become involved in a relationship, that friends are put into the back burner.
There is no point in telling them because they cannot give up their relationship for you . This is unfair .
You ignore those people who ignored you. They don't exist in your life.
A
female
reader, greenflower  +, writes (10 May 2010):
I know exactly how you feel. In high school, I was the girl that never had a boyfriend, went to the prom (lack of date), etc. And I always felt excluded. I realize now what I should've done back then.
Maybe you should invite your friends out for a "girl's day" and don't really mention the way they've been behaving. This might just indirectly remind them that they do have a life outside of the boyfriend talk.
Another thing you could do is just talk to one of the friends one-on-one about it. Not all of them at once.
Most importantly, do not for a single second believe that you are unattractive. You simply lack confidence or are shy. Beauty if way more than skin deep. The biggest flaw with women is that we can see beauty in everyone but ourselves. (Believe me, I'm still dealing with that myself)
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A
male
reader, astral_traveller +, writes (10 May 2010):
Everyone in this world is unique and authentic. They have some qualities/skills that they excel at. Physical appearance is just one such quality, but its an important one, people perceive it just by looking.
Similarly, everyone is attracted to certain qualities and they differ from person to person.
You need to find the qualities which you excel in and project them where possible. Someone who is attracted to these qualities would perceive them and be your friend.
Now to answer the questions -
- If they were really your friends, they wouldn't do what they are doing to you - leaving you behind. So no point in telling them how you feel. You need to find new friends, the real ones, who are interested in the qualities you excel in and have common interests.
- It goes back the qualities you excel in and projecting them. Try to find these in yourself and observe people who have shown interest in these qualities. And lastly, consider the feasibility of getting a makeover (dressing, hairstyle, etc), if you think its necessary.
I wish you the Very Best.
Words of caution : You are the better judge of your situation. Others can only relate your situation to events in their life or to the lives of people they know. So please do NOT get carried away with an answer that supports your thoughts.
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