A
female
age
41-50,
*eejee
writes:Hi,I am hoping to get some help and ideas. One of my best friends is getting married in 3 weeks. The thing is, it isnt your usual wedding as her fiance has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and has been given 2 good months, with 2 bad months and the doctors cant say after that. I know it will be the hardest wedding i will ever go to and I want to give them a present that will be truly amazing. I just dont know what? I know me being there will be enough, but I dearly want to be able to give them something special. I dont know whether it should be something to keep or something they can use together quickly. Please let me know any ideas you can think of. Im at a loss.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007): I'm sorry to hear about your friend's fiance.
I have two more gift ideas for you... the first doesn't involve a lot of money, but it will require some effort.
The second doesn't involve much effort, but a little bit of money & both end up being beautiful keepsakes.
I've done both as gifts for two weddings when I was going through a cash-poor stage & both couples they said they loved these!
The first:
Make a question & answer book for them to do about themselves to give the other. It's amazing the number of little things we don't know about our loved ones ... normally we get a lifetime to find these things out. But being that your friend's situation is time-bound, this achieves this in a limited space of time.
The bride will love this gift as she'll discover things that she will not otherwise have had the chance to find out about her husband.
Basically, you create a few different sections and put in 20 or so questions per section. The questions are for each of them to answer about themselves & then, when they've finished, they give it to the other person as a keepsake.
So the questions are little things like "favourite ice-cream flavour", "my first grade teacher", "most embarrassing high-school moment", "teacher I had a crush on at school", "first poster up in my room as a teenager", "my favourite day of the week & why" "most hated vegetable", "what I first wanted to do when I grew up".
You basically group it into sections as you feel appropriate & think of 20+ questions for each section. The sections & some of the questions I had are below, but you can add more & more [see https://www.storesonline.com/site/884583/form/160650]:
- Early years - "how old was I when I said my first word?" "what was my first word" "things I did that scared my parents" "any unusal hospital visits (e.g. marble up nose)" "how I got my name"
[some of this he'll have to go to his parents for]
- Family "parental advice that always stuck with me" "biggest trouble I got into with mum/dad" "favourite aunty/uncle & why" "fond memories of grandparents"
- Friends "best friend growing up" "biggest trouble I got into with friends was..." "naughtiest thing we did that no-one ever found out about was ..."
- School years "favourite subject" "lease favourite subject" "I was a bully / I got teased" "I used to buy lunch / I used to take lunch" "did I ever win any prizes" "I got detentions mostly for..." "I once got sent to the headmasters office for ..."
- Loves & Hates - "pet peeves" "favourite food" "favourite unusual combination of foods (e.g. mayo & gherkins on toast)" "favourite season" "best thing to do in my least favourite season"
- Physical attributes - "did I ever do a home-piercing" "favourite body part" "least favourite body part" "bad habits"
The second gift idea is rose bushes - if they have a garden. Rose colours & combinations have different meanings - e.g. red is love; white is innocence; yellow is friendship, joy and caring; combinations of red & white signifies unity, red & yellow signifies happiness. You could give them a red rose bush, a yellow one & a white one to plant together - with a poem or printout of the meanings of the colours & the combinations (see http://www.teleflora.com/rose_colors.asp) & she will have that after he is gone & each time they bloom, she'll have beautiful flowers to remember him by.
All the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Hay im really sorry to hear about your best friends partner.
Ive read all of the responces below and I truely believe any1 of them will be an amazing gift. Im especially liking the homemade movie/scrapbook and coupon idea.
Is there anything they want to either see or do together before he gets to poorly if so maybe you could organise that for them ie visiting rome, swimming with dolphins.
Anything that is a reminder of their love for each other wil go down a treat.
I wish both you, your best friend and her partner the very best in this difficult situation and you truely are in my thoughts.
Take Care of them!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): I have to say that the best gift that I ever gave was when I made a movie for someone I care about of their life. Its free if you have windows movie maker and you can burn it to dvd if you want. Its something she'll always have - you can put still shots to music and also add video of him talking to her and her talking to him (interviews)I think they would both cherish it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): I don't know if you/they are into this, but I think a homemade scrapbook is a wonderful gift. If you can't do it yourself there are tons of people in the business of making homemade scrapbooks. You will need a lot of pictures of the couple, so that might be the hardest part. Last Christmas I gave my boyfriend a scrapbook that I made for him and he told me it was the best gift he's ever gotten. It's a sweet gift because it's personal to the couple and it also shows that you put a lot of time/thought into it. It may sound corny, but it really is an awesome gift. You can do it just of the couple or of the couple and their friends & families. It's something that they can enjoy together and will allow thier memories to live on forever. Let me know if you have any questions or want more info.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, MadameRazz +, writes (12 September 2007):
 It might sound really tacky but I think it would be really nice for you to get them something which immortalised him. For example something simple like a fancy portrait of them both or get them two stars named together.
http://www.buyagift.co.uk/Product/Id/1232/Name/Name_Two_Valentine_Stars
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 Depending on how well you know them, can you give them a book of home-made coupons?
2 loads laundry (5 coupons)
grocery trips (5 coupons)
home-made diners they don't have to cook, that you'll drop off and then leave (10 coupons)
bathroom scrubbing (5 coupons)
Maybe 2-months maid service (if you don't have the time to clean their house)
5 coupons where you'll sit with him toward the end so she can get away. (She'll need to have some alone time after the stress, and you need to make sure she gets it without feeling guilty.)
etc. etc.
What they need most now is time together without the stresses of everyday life. She is going to need to be able to take care of him without having to take care of their household.
If you have the time, it's your best gift to them.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (11 September 2007):
 I'm sorry to hear about your friend's husband. Well, it depends how much you intend to spend, I mean if you've got a bit of cash, perhaps a nice weekend away together would be nice... You can't go wrong in a gift though; it is the thought after all. Perhaps you could give them something very personalised and special to them. If they share an interest, you could buy them something for that... If you message me I'm sure we could think of something if you're truly at a lost. Hope things work out for the best. :] x
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