A
male
age
36-40,
*reengotg
writes:ok so I have a friend who has a boyfriend and her boyfriend is telling her who she can and can't talk with she likes him but he has taken it to far from telling her when she can drive and how loong she can stay out and she wants to break up with him but don't know how any advise that I can give her I have ran out of ideas
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Dude,
listen to the advice. Tell her to break it off for crying out loud. He cannot physically force her to go out with him. If she tells him she doesnt want to see him anymore that should be it. You can be there with her to offer support, involve her family , I'm sure they would hate to see their daughter/sister involved in this.
But get her to break off with him. They are words: " I do not want to see you anymore, you are controlling and I fear for my safety" .
A
male
reader, greengotg +, writes (9 November 2007):
greengotg is verified as being by the original poster of the question yea well she says he has been driving her away so she does want to break up but don't know how to and I have been there since she started going out with him and everytime I talk to her she seems to get depressed little by little it makes me sad because she is not the same and he has told her to not talk to me but she refused it
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A
female
reader, becca78  +, writes (8 November 2007):
It's seems obvious that she should break up with him, but the question is, does she want to? It sounds like she thinks she's in love with him or maybe she is. You can encourage her to break up with him all you like but if she doesn't want to she won't and it will destroy your friendship.
All you can do is be clear on your feelings about this but don't push her too hard, she may end up taking his side against you. The more controlling he gets the more she'll need a friend especially when she sees the light and leaves him, or until he meets someone else.
Just be a friend and be there when she needs you.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (8 November 2007):
If your friend can stay with you that's a start. In any event you shouldn't let go of this because the longer she stays with him the more he will exert his control over her. Before long she wont be talking to you anymore.
He is not god, she simply has to walk out. She doesnt even owe him an excuse, he doesnt deserve it. Breakup protocol is irrelevant here. Tell her just leave, and if you feel brave enough you can handle him - does she have any brothers or other male friends? - bullies hate being confronted by people who can stand up for themselves. Tell him to stay away and find the next girl he can control. He will soon enough but not without a fight.
But whatever you do, dont give up.
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A
male
reader, Wildlife dude  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Breaking up with somene is the easy part. She should simply tell him she doesn't want to see him anymore. Gather her things and walk out the door. Hopefully she has a place to stay until he's done freaking out and can accept that he chased her away.
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