A
male
age
30-35,
*rBrightside90
writes:Hey dear cupid readers,first of all, some background information. I am in college, and part of a social group consisting 2 guy friends and 1 girl-friend and a few of her friends. Well this girl in our social group, I used to date her for a few months and then broke up with her because I was not in love with her and did not want to keep her on any sort of leash. Well after the break up, this girl had sex with one of my friends, from that same social group. This guy told me that he had sex with her, and wanted to do everything to restore our relationship. I told hem the only way for me to even consider spending time with them is if they wouldn’t invite her to hang out with us. Well, the two guys who I considered to be dear friends first of all gave me cr*p about throwing her stuff out of the window. (Some clothes and a bike key). This girl who I used to date also kissed another guy when we were seriously dating, and she kept dropping hints that she wanted to call herself my girlfriend. And now she banged my close friend. Long story short, I feel like my two friends are telling me to take it easy and they keep mentioning that they are still friends with her. I just don’t know, for me this seems like the biggest backstabbing ever by everyone in that group. To me it feels like the chose her as the victim of this all and I fear that I am going to be excluded, then again maybe cutting people like this out of your life is only for the best?What are your guys opinions?Thanks a lot,A very hurt writer
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (18 January 2013):
Hi there. It sounds like this girl you recently stopped dating wanted more than you did from your association with her.
In other words, you weren't both on the same page.
And when she kissed other guys when you were seriously dating her, seems like a foolish way of hers, in trying to make you jealous by testing you to see how much you cared.
Sometimes people do this, to see if they get the affect they desire.
It's rather immature of her, and yet I believe that could be what she was doing, and is doing now in trying to make you see what you have been missing by not making her officially your girlfriend - which is what she wanted.
She might also be spinning them some lies about you, trying to make them side with her - instead of you.
And whatever it is that she is doing, it seems to be working, doesn't it?
Women sometimes can wrap men around their little fingers, with their charms and little white lies, in trying to convince them that they are the one who was hard done by.
It's very unfair, to say the least.
Nevertheless, it is also something over which you have no control whatsoever.
The really good part about people like that, is that when you continually lie to others, eventually you say something that directly contradicts something you said previously.
So then the person hearing that, will think to themselves - or else say to them - "But yesterday, you said ......" and the person telling the porky pies (lies), then just says - "Er, er, er, oh .........." - and just tries very awkardly to wiggle their way out of it, so they don't look too foolish.
Eventually though, if you are with someone like that for long enough, you start to see regular discrepancies in what they say, that just DON'T add up.
At the moment, they are probably just charmed by her somewhat flirtatious conversations, and so they can't see beyond that - well for now, at least.
Even if she doesn't trip herself up with her own lies, there could be a time where one or others of her friends are talking to those same guys, and they will say - "Oh, no that's not right at all. This is what happened."
And so it goes.
There is probably no real point in trying to tell your friends something to make them see things more clearly, because they are being mesmerized by her charms at the moment.
And if they are very good friends of yours, well then they probably have known you for a lot longer than these girls and your ex anyway.
So my guess is, that in weeks or months to come, your friends will start to see that she either trips herself up with her own lies.
Or else, she starts dating one of them, and then does the very same thing to them also.
Like kissing another one of your friends, whilst dating another friend of yours.
What goes around, comes around.
So just give it some time.
It will most likely all work out in the end.
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