A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dont know what to do.we were at a party and drank alot.my best friend couldnt drive home and i said he could sleep over.he shared the bed with me and my girlfriend.in his sleep he touched my gf and kissed her neck and the touched her vagina.he would never do anything to hurt anyone but the fact is he did touch her.she slept inbetween us.she told me about it but he doesnt know that he did it.my gf was molested as a child and now i feel even extra bad that it happened cause i said he should share the bed instead of sleeping on the floor.should i tell him what he did or what must i do.break up the friendship.shes very freaked out.please help.can allot of people post their aduice?thanx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): This is a difficult situation indeed. This is what I propose: Definitely talk to your gf about the fact that this was certainly not intentional by any means, and that if alcohol were not involved, this scenario would never have occured. If I were in this position, I would acctually tell the friend, sort of like a "let em' down easy kinds deal" and then have him talk to my girlfriend about how sorry and unintentional it really was. Hopefullt this is encouraging.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 I don't get why she was in the middle to begin with. Tell him what he did, because maybe he knew, maybe he didn't, but whether he knew or not, he can most certainly tell her that he is very sorry for what he did.
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A
female
reader, Cosy  +, writes (17 March 2008):
I don't think its weird that you shared abed together, I've done that before and its not something you think about because you all know nothing will happen! Who would'nt rather be on the bed than on the floor! Normally you ask the third person if its okay because its a bit weird to share a bed wit a couple.. ( in case they..do things!) so don't worry about that AT ALL!
otherwise, talk to him, talk to her, maybe talk about it all together because it wil bevery strange fr you all. If it was a genuine mistake and result of drink then you just all make your minds up about how to go forward, if however, your gf is affected, it will bring up her painful memories and you will have to be there for her.
its a tricky one, but it will be okay :)
no-one seemingly is to blame.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Strange you didnt put yourself in the middle.
No way would I ask a girl to stay with me and my man, and let him sleep in the middle. Especially if we had all had a drink. I know exactly what my partner would think (or wish) might happen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Are you sure he was asleep or was it in a drunken stuper?
I have to question how genuine this post is as who in their right mind would tell the friend to share their bed when the girlfriend is in it aswell?, and her lying between them, why couldnt you have been in the middle then you would of got fondled! (infact I bet it wouldnt have happened if you were in the middle)
I think if it is true its a terrible thing, you should deffinately tell him what he did as
a) he thinks he has got away with having a cheap thrill at your girlfriends expense
or b) it will give hime the chance to appologise to her.
Theres nothing wrong with the floor if your friends stay again, try and be a little more selective of who you have in your bed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Why did you all have to share a bed? What is wrong with sleeping on the floor. You shouldnt of put her in such a position if you knew what she had been through as a child. she is bout to be very very freaked out, i would be just the same. You have a right to your gf to tell him what happened and that you wish the whole thing had never taken place. You need to reassure her that you will never ever put her in such a position in the first place. Make sure that you are able to either get home in future or make prior sleeping arrangement before you go. But for your friend, talk to him and be prepared to put him out of your life. He knew what he was doing, sorry, but i have been blotto on drink before but i always know just what i am doing.
take care
xx
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