A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay I am 15 turning 16 this year and I feel really really lonely. I feel really inloved and it's really getting to me. All my other friends have boyfriends and they are lasting a long time. My last realtionship lasted two days, so I am really eager to find a boyfriend. I like this guy in my class and we are really really good mates we talk all the time but i honestly don't think that he would eva eva eva like me in that way eva. I don't know what it is but can neva get lucky with guys. I just wanna find a guy who is gonna love the beautiful person on the inside of me. which is really hard at my age coz all they want is sex but this guy is really special. I know he wants the same in a girl so i dunno. Do i go for it or just leave it as friends??please help so confused! thanks mara xx Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): Hey ... i know how you feel. In my social circle all my friends have paired off except me and this one guy who isn't interested in a relationship with anyone at the mo. (It's not an excuse for him not going out with me lol - he has loads of far hotter girls after him and he's not interested!)
So yeah, it feels really crap and like you're the one left out - but remember there's nothing wrong with you whatsoever!! Chances are, like me, there are no guys you know that you'are attracted to or are your type. I want someone who would pick up a suitcase and come to india with me or randomly take off hitchhiking with me one weekend - and living in a small really boring town in England there are no guys like that (apart from my art teacher lol but that's another problem!)
Please don't get upset about it, and i know that's easier said than done cos i still feel crap when my mates are all out with their boyfriends and i have no one to be with. But i just think that the right person will come along for me, and then i'll be really happy. And untill then, i know that i'd prefer to be single than going from relationship to relationship trying to be happy but failing and finding really boring boyfriends who i'm not happy with!
I hope that makes you feel better about yourself - remember it's the other guys who have the problem / aren't good enough - never you!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): You know I can remember being your age and feeling a lot the same way.
Here is the thing, you don't realize how lucky you are as things are not as they seem with your friends and their boyfriends.....sometimes these relationships just make a girl feel worse about herself if the boy isn't very nice to her or is using her for sex....sometimes they are good if they are based solely on friendship, but a lot of times at this age it is about wanting to be popular and cool, so they are just playing at having a relationship....
I know this probably doesn't make you feel any better, but I wish for you is that you would stop letting your idea that you need a boyfriend in order to be lovable is ridiculous, you can't base your worth as a person on whether or not some boy wants to be your boyfriend.
Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? If you don't feel very good about yourself, if you don't love yourself, it is going to be hard for you first of all Let anyone like you for you, and secondly it will be hard for someone to be attracted to you as you don't even like you....Make sense?
I think you are luckier than you realize. You are free to focus on school and your studies and other activities that you enjoy, make some friends that will value your friendship and spend time with you. If all your friends have boyfriends and they ditch you for them, then it is time to make some new friends, seriously! Also, if you have been feeling depressed for several weeks, you may actually be suffering from depression, or your hormones are out of wack.....I would go see your doctor for a check up and tell him how sad you are feeling, see if there isn't something they can do to help you through medication or diet or even excercise to make you feel more like yourself again.
Don't stress about boyfriends. You are right at this age, boys are not great boyfriends and they are after sex, but the funny thing is they don't respect the girls that give it to them.....strange how that works. What they like are independent girls with thoughts and interests of their own, and who won't give up their gifts so easily to some dorkey guy. You hang in there, sweets.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Alright, first off, cool down. There are often surveys which suggest something like 50% of people lose their virginity before 18. What people then forget that this means that 50% DO NOT!
People mature at different speeds, maybe you just ain't ready, I know it can be hard but remember, when you obsess about something you see it everywhere. Really, everyone in your entire social cicle has a boyfriend? Or do you just see that because you are constantly thinking about it yourselve.
You seem unsure about your own attractivness. Sadly some people are 'ugly', it ain't nice to say but I am so myself and advice like 'it is your personality that matters' just ain't helpfull. Sorry to say it, but most people only fall in love with beautiful people. Uglies never have love at first sight happen to them. There really isn't anything you can do about this if this is your case, your love life will more likely follow the route of friends-lovers then instant love.
BUT you got a good male friend. He likes to be around you, so you already at the friends stage. That is good but now you wonder wether he wants more. Well he might be wondering the same thing. One of you is going to have to make the first move. I wouldn't go after him just to get a boyfriend. But if you really like this guy and want more, then it might be up to you to make the first move.
Try sitting close to him, one thing a girl did in my class was to sit back to back with me during lunch, didn't pick up on it at the time, but lets hope he is a bit smarter then me. Let him know you are comfortable around him, but not TOO comfortable.
Remember, some of the best romances start out as just friends. Don't be in a rush, but don't be afraid either. Go for it, but at your own pace.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): Hey hun,
I can only give you this bit of advice wait for the right person. I was just like you, I'm in my first ever relationship now and I'm 21!!!
If you are gonna do summat about this bloke make sure it's him you want and you're not just trying to fit in otherwise you might regret it.
aaaaaaaaaaaaand it might be an idea to find out some info on him from m8's or ppl that know him.
Dunno if I helped at all but wish you the best.
...............................
|
