A
male
age
36-40,
*teven 25206542
writes:ave got a female friend she is 16 and clamed to me that her dad has beating her up twice she doesnt want me to get involved i wnat her to tell some one but i dont no how to convince her Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff +, writes (11 June 2007):
 if you get in touch with a child protection agency and let them know they can assess what is best for your friend, she may be afraid of the stigman attached to child abuse and thinks that the only other option is to go to a home, when in fact she may just go to another close family member who can take care of her.
she thought it wouldn't happen again and it did, she know thinks it can't get any worse... but it will.... that is teh pattern with parents who abuse their children, they no longer can get rid of thier anger by just hitting their child and will eventually become more extreme
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): hi i just wanted to add something as about 5 yrs ago i was in a similar situation, one of my close friends (always clumsy) confessed all her bumps and scrapes were actually the result of her dad's drinking & violence, she'd been in care like 6 times before, but i don't realy know anything bout that she wasn't lying but i've no idea how she was allowed to go home, so didn't want to get the social services involved, i still got her to tell a trusted teacher (i think they have a duty to inform social services anyhow) as a kinda comprimise. I've ALWAYS regretted not getting her out of her home, her dad later went on to sexually assult her and i have always felt guilty for not pushing her on the moving outthing, (she still refused to get social services involved) eventually she left to live with friends but it took too long and she suffered to much.
One thing to consider is i know the one time she'd told a friend before and they (rightly) got social services involved she lied and said she made it all up, if your friend really doesn't want people to help her she'll probably do the same, either way your in for a rough ride supporting her just make sure you stay safe, and try and get her to talk to some one anyone with a little authority, like i said i've a feeling doctors or teachers have to report this kinda thing, good luck, just remember your beeing a really good friend to some one that truely needs one, Good Luck xxx
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (10 June 2007):
 Anywhere is better than getting beaten. They'll probably find a relative for her to stay with, and put him into counseling, and/or jail.
DV1
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A
male
reader, steven 25206542 +, writes (10 June 2007):
steven 25206542 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thats the thiung i dont no i have told her to tell her brother but she is afraid that she will end up in a home because she will have no were else to go she keeps saying that its just life and how it is and that he wont do it again but thats what she thought the first time it just isnt right i wana go over and kick his fucking head in but arfgh she just says she doesnt wont bother i really wana help
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): You became involved the moment your friend told you. Please contact the Child Protective Services in your area, they will investigate and take the steps needed to help your friend.
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A
female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff +, writes (10 June 2007):
if your friend really didn't want you involved then she wouldn't have told you!!!
she is now probably either doubting her decision to tell you or she is trying to protect herself if her dad finds out she has told, she may say that becaus ehse has convinced herself that the way her dad treats her is normal and you would be butting in in their relationship... But you need to get in contact with someone who can help...
i know it can be stressful for you too, but you need to ensure your friend is safe, even is she is acts mad at you for it. do you know a close family member of hers you can trust who can help you deal with the situation?
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (10 June 2007):
 I think you should call childline or the NSPCC helpline as they are experts on physical child abuse. They won't force you to give any details but it may help to talk through what you know. If you did wish to report it, the NSPCC would work with social services in your area to investigate the allegation and your name would be kept out of it. Google nspcc or childline for their telephone number.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (10 June 2007):
It doesn't matter what she wants at this point. As her friend, it's your job to step up. Keep friends around her at all times. If her dad even looks at her the wrong way, make an example...
DV1
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A
female
reader, trizzac  +, writes (10 June 2007):
 tell her 2 call clildline nd tell her 2 speak out 2 dem if she doe'nt want 2 tell u.0800 111 day can really help u
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