A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is likely an age old question but i need to ask it. How much time should your man spend with his friends? Please dont anyone tell me as much as he wants cuz thats the whole problem here, hes spending tooo much time with them i only see him maybe 2xs a month n in between we chat but only when i start the chats meaning he wont call for about a week unless i call first. Weve been together for a decent amount of time and yes ive tried talking to him but thats useless as hes says his friends mean alot to him...that i understand but shouldnt i count too?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pumkin221  +, writes (10 June 2007):
Is he your man, twice a month. Your good i get mad when my man goes out on weekends and we live together and have a baby together. I would not say he is seeing someone and do not jump to con clusions because he will just say you are insecure girlfriend, that is a definite problem. Everyone needs a social life but is he dating his friends. How old are you?
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (10 June 2007):
 I have been in a similar position where my ex used to go round her best mates house every dau after work for a few hours and then come back tired and usually stoned.
I had to tread a very thin line not to sound like i was being over dramatic, but the truth of the matter was that she never made the effort to make me priority in her life and i always felt like i was wrong for saying anything about the amount of time she spent round there, let alone coming home stoned and just totally wasted.
Your situation is different coz is does not sound like you are living together, hovever he does need to see you more than 2 times a month, if he can spare the time to see all his other mates inbetween.
He needs to put you more in the lime light rather than his friends. I am not saying he has to stop seeing his friends as i dont think you would want that either, but there has to be a balance and you have to be accounted for somewhere if he wants this relationship to grow and continue.
Friends mean alot to everyone but you should mean that little bit more to him where he WANTS to spend that time with you, but it doesnt seem that way. You are his friend as well as his lover and that should mean him devoting some energy and time into yourself.
Your not wrong for wanting to see more of him and you should feel no guilt or anything in asking him to really think where you lie in his life and his list of priorites.
R
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2007): Your relationship is incredibly relaxed and casual to be only seeing each other twice a month. The answer is that his friends must mean more to him than you do.
You are obviously unhappy about this, but keep bringing this up with your man in the attempt to try and change him is just going to create tension and he's going to become increasingly annoyed at you. You can't make someone want to be with you, and it sounds to me that this guy doesn't want the same kind of relationship as you do. You either accept him and the relationship for it is, or you end things and look for a more committed relationship with someone else. I realise that's easier said than done, but those are ultimately your two choices.
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