A
male
age
30-35,
*razybeast
writes:My really close female friend kissed me today and I'm kind of freaking out :/I'm gay and in the year above her. I'm openly gay at school but not to the point of being obvious and she knows that I wouldn't be interested for obvious reasons.I handled the situation as good as I could, some slight freaking out but I just said goodbye(it was the end of the day) so I did so without being rude. I know I shouldn't be freakin out but I just can't help it... What should I do?? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): I've done the reverse, snogging a good friend who is a lesbian. What I didn't realise is just how much this makes the other person question their identity (and not just their sexual identity, but of course it effects their participation in a community and a way of life). I'm truly sorry that a moment's "what the heck" caused her so much anguish.It's worthwhile sharing your emotions with her. I certainly appreciated my friend doing that. It made me realise that although it might be a nice daydream that we got together, the reality is that she would never be happy because she would have to give up so much which was so fundamental to her. I ended up with a much better appreciation of her as a friend.I think she finds a lot of value in having a close friend outside of the bitchy hothouse of the lesbian community. Ironically, she most likes visiting me because it allows her to relax and be herself, to say things and not be judged for them.We still have a close friendship. I've gone on have a relationship and a family with a mutual friend. She was my "best man" at the wedding (she's butch, so it was a good fit). She is our kids favorite "auntie", a role she very much enjoys.I hope you find something in the story of our friendship which you can use in your current circumstance. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, neomum +, writes (11 January 2012):
I think it depends on the type of kiss, Was it a kiss on the cheek, on the lips or full on snog. The first two are not that bad even for a gay person so freaking out was the wrong thing to do but if it was a full on snog with her temping to use tongues then she was wrong to do that and freaking out was the right way for you to react. She may of got her wires crosses with you if you gave her mixed messages as some guys act gay and they are not. Next time just take her aside and tell her straight that you find her actions are making you fill embarresed and you will stop beimg her friend if she continues to kiss you thus way.
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