A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend that is depressed and lately she has mentioned even suicide. I am trying my best to help her since I am the only person that she talks to about everything. She is 30yrs old and has gone throught so much in her life, was divorced ones, no children.She thinks that nobody cares about her, that nobody loves her. She´s been like this since the divorce, and is just getting worst.The other day she said that I should just do the samething that this person we knew before did.(This person committed suicide couple of years ago).I dont know what to do, but I am scared if something is going to happen, and than regret it for the rest of my life that I could of done something more to help her. I am hours away from her, but I talk to her on the phone almost everyday. Its is so hard for me to hear her on the phone crying, and not being able to do anything. I try my best to tell her that she is a beautiful person, and just to bring up the positive things in her life.I told her that I will be there for her whenever she needs me, and that I do care about her. I just dont know what else to do besides talk to her.I should also mentioned that she doesnt go out with friends or anything, since the divorce she only dated one guy for a short time,and that just made her feel worst. She is also not very close with her family, and I dont think they know how depressed she is, and what kind of thoughts she´s having.So please guys let me know if there is anything else that I can do to help her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): First, depression is often a physical condition, and can be treated medically. The sufferer often doesn't understand the depth of their situation (sometime people close to the person don't either, as it can be a slow progression downward).FORGET putting her on a dating site, go find a suicide prevention hot-line in your town, and talk to them. She needs professional help, and a structured approach to dealing with this. Odds are it's going to be a combination of simple steps, but you need an objective person to help you. Rebuilding a positive self-image (if that's an issue) is important, as it not medicating the situation (alcohol, drugs, food, sex...) and talking to others who suffer the same thing - in person, in a healthy environment. NOT in chat rooms...
A
male
reader, paul739  +, writes (25 July 2010):
First of all I would say the most important thing to do is just be there to listen to her. She may have a lot of stuff bottled up inside and just by being there and listening to her you are doing a good job. You say you don't live local but would it be possible to meet up with her, perhaps once a week? And I think it is great you are showing support by regularly speaking on the phone. Perhaps you could txt her more? Little things like texting her to say good night or anything like that can mean more than you think to someone who is feeling low. Does she have any friends you know who you could confide in? Don't be afraid to ask her questions about how she feels and remind her what a good friend she is and that you love having her around. Speaking from experience. PM me if you want to.
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A
female
reader, almc  +, writes (25 July 2010):
To start off, you need to get her to talk to someone, my ex bf was the same way, he felt that no one loved him, and alone. Well you tried a few times, and the last time he did do it, and it broke my heart, 15 months and I still crying and up set about it. So you need to make her go see a counselor, just say she needs to go and she needs to think about the people around her that love her and would miss her, make a list, but she is sad because she is alone, try finding someone to go on a date with her, maybe put her up on a dating sit,or. Find a 2 minute dating, its where you walk around and talk to people and only having 2 minutes to talk to them and if you like them you give them your number. Hope this helps. But make sure she goes and sees someone, you don't want this over your head, if anything was to happen. Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, RaNdiZasTer +, writes (25 July 2010):
Your friend is lame. She needs to quit being a baby and get over it (Don't tell her that). Okay, so you need to cheer her up but she doesn't have fun when she goes out socially. Alcohol probably isn't a good idea either, because that could lead to other problems. I would assume that the last time she exercised was gym class in highschool. Or before she got married and was still happy with life. Well start there. Try fun hobbies like hiking, tennis, golf, etc. get her doing something active, but fun also. A stairmaster or treadmill might not do the trick. I think that will be a good start. If that doesn't work, you should suggest lots of annonymous sex. That always cheers me up.
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