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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi I'm 15 and recently my parents split up. It affects me a lot. My friend said I could talk to her about it any time. I know it would help me to talk to her but I don't know how to tell her I want to talk. I'm quite shy and I just can't seem to ask her the question "Can we talk?". Please help me. I really want to talk but I just don't know how to start the conversation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2005): Hun, I am so sorry your family has been affected by divorce. Such a sad time for you to endure. You really need outside support and it's great that your friend has offered to be there to love and encourage you. Be strong asd just tell her "I need talk..care to listen?" or you can tell her you need to talk, sugeest she and you get together, a few days down the road. Make arrangements with her and that way she knows you need her and she'll be prepared to talk with you at a special, pre-designated time and place. If she's a true blue buddy-she will be there for you, in a flash. Another option is to talk to your Mom and ask if she can make arrangements for you to get counselling to help you cope. It's a difficult, challenging time when a person's family is broken up. It feels like our whole world has fallen apart. Take care sweety and remember to be strong...Hugs, Irish
A
female
reader, Helen05 +, writes (2 August 2005):
You don't have to ask just talk! I bet this friend asks you every day how you are and you say "fine". Next time tell her how you are really feeling and the conversation will flow. If she dosent ask, ask her and use this as a starting point. You will need your friends, this is a difficult thing to go through but trust me when i say that one day things will look better.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (2 August 2005):
Next time you want to talk to her, all you have to say is "can I talk to you about ...... for a little while?" Once youve said it, it wont seem so bad.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2005): Hi honey,
sorry about what happened with your parents x
my suggestion would be to just arrange a girlie night in with your best friend, and just drop it into the conversation, letting her know how sad you are about the whole thing and that it is still bothering you.
If you still feel really edgy about discussing it, why not give Samaritans a call or email?
They will be happy to listen to what you have to say :-)
I hope this helps
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A
female
reader, twiglet +, writes (2 August 2005):
You could try dropping hints, or just introducing the topic. Wait until you can be somewhere quiet and relaxed together (perhaps her house, a park, a quiet cafe). You can always start out just talking as normal but then at a stage where you feel calm and the conversation has died down a little, start explaining how you're feeling at the moment. This will be a cue for her to ask you more specifically about how things are. If she doesn't ask anything (she might think you don't want to talk), offer a little more in-depth information (eg if you've said you feel upset or angry, start trying to say when you feel most upset, who you're angry with,etc). By doing so you'll be letting her know you trust her and want to talk to her. Of course this may still not work, but in that case you needn't feel worried about saying more directly that you'd really like it if you could talk to her. She might well feel quite flattered to know that you trust her as a friend and that she can help you, after all she offered her listening ear in the first place. Good luck with it, I'm sure it'll be a real help having such a good friend there for you.
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