A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My co-worker friend just had a baby 3 months early and nobody knows if he is going to pull through. I messaged her through our company email (she just moved, so this is the only way I could contact her; don't know her new contact info!) letting her know that I was thinking about her and her husband and that she needs to concentrate on her family and if she wanted to talk that I'd be here for her. I also let her know that I was taking care of the projects we were working together.I'd like to do something more than a 5 sentence email to her, though. I want to at least send her a card. What do I say beyond what I've already written? Should I mention her new son even though he may not make it? I don't want her to read the card and become anymore upset!Thank you!!!
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male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (26 September 2007):
Having been in your friends position for the first six weeks of my daughters life when she was on life support in a special care unit I can only tell you what would have been the best thing friends could have done for me.
Let her know you are there for her.
Let her know your door is always open.
Let her know you are rooting for her.
Let her know you love her dearly.
If she off hand towards you (telling you to piss off or something like that) please put up with it, she really does not mean it - let me assure you of that if this does happen.
Hanging in there every day not knowing if your child is going to die or not is one of the horriblist positions I have ever been in and it tires and irritates you something awful. If you contact directly and you do it at a wrong time for them they may respond in a way that they would never usually do.
As I have been in this situation personally ten years ago I may be able to help out a bit more so please feel free to message me if I am in a position to help out any more.
Cheers
Trev
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all very much for your advice! Well it seems as though what I've done is enough, for right now anyway. I think I will mention to her that I'd like to visit... Maybe I'll write that to her if she responds back to my first message.
And I'm happy to hear of all of the positive outcomes that you have experienced/heard of! Hopefully her baby boy will be okay - I have a good feeling about him. :)
Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (26 September 2007):
 He might make it just stay positive for her and let her know your thinking of her, thats all you can do for her just be there and be supportive.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (26 September 2007):
 just your kind support will be enough because she is in a terrible position and you want to be there fpr her but without invading her personal space.
i was 2 months premature and was in a incubator for 5 and half weeks, so it is possible for him to pull through, babies are alot more resiliant than we realise.
all the best.
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A
male
reader, Abacadaba +, writes (26 September 2007):
 Hey, my neighbour recently had a baby very premature, he weighed less than a bag of sugar when he was born. But hes doing absolutely fine. All i can say is talk positive, its surprising what doctors and nurses can do nowa days, they are worth thier weight in gold. Just tell her not to worry, and that your thinking of her and her baby (and the rest of her family of course), and youd like to come and see her and the rest of them. It would mean alot to her to know you want to go and see them both. remember, alot of words doesnt mean it means alot, what you say is what counts, Just make sure she knows your thinking of her and youll be there for her, and nothing more really needs to be said.
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