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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My friend is being picked on all the time by the "popular" kids .He told me not to tell anyone. One day he got beaten up so badly that I couldn't take it anymore and I told the principal. The bullying has stop but you think my friend would be happy that I did the right thing, no when he found out he was pretty mad at me. He call me a bad friend and something else I can't repeat. Why is he mad at me for doing the right thing? If you in the same situation would you have did the same thing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2008): Only your friend knows why he won't talk to you. He may be mad at you, he may just feel overwhelmed and not like talking to anybody, or he may be even be afraid for your safety (since the bullies might go after you.) Don't worry, it may take a while (even a year) but SOME DAY he will be mature enough to understand that you only had his good in mind. And he will be grateful.You probably need to give him some space for a while, but for your peace of mind you can try to see if he is safe (talk to the school counselor or a trusted grownup to make sure that the authorities are keeping an eye on him and the bullies.)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy friend is not talking to me at all. Why he mad at me for doing the right thing? Do think hates me now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): I don't think male ego is the right word to use...
I agree, some people would rather be beaten up than called a snitch. He might think its not a big deal. He might just not want to create a fuss, or get parents involved. Or teachers...
No one really knows why. In the back of my head I think I know why but, its a bit rusty and can't quite dig it out. All I can say is, you did the right thing, and at least his situation will be resolved quickly now, rather than later when anything could've happened...
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 I'm sure in a way. Your ages play a big factor as well. Some would rather be beat up than called a snitch. But, from your end, you're trying to protect your friend. That holds value as well.
It's difficult being younger with some of the decisions you face. I have a teen girl your age. I bet within a 5 minute time, she can catch me up with weeks worth of gossip.
Keep your chin up, it really does get better.
take care.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): You did the right thing. There's a good rule for this kind of thing:Tattling is when you tell to get someone IN trouble. Don't tattle.Telling is when you tell to get someone OUT of trouble. You should tell.If someone will BOTH get in and out of trouble, you should still tell. Can you talk to your parents or teachers about it? There's a great book on the topic that they and you could read, called "The Bully, The Bullied, and the Bystander" http://www.amazon.com/Bully-Bullied-Bystander-Preschool-School-How/dp/006001430XYour friend may have many reasons to not have wanted anyone to tell... the bullies may have threatened to kill him or his loved ones if he told; they may have led him to believe that he would become their friend or be left alone if he endured a certain amount; he may be embarrassed to have needed help and worried that he'll never get rid of a reputation as a weakling; perhaps he feels or knows that the school system and his family are not enough to protect him and that his situation is now even worse; you can't know why until he tells you. Anyway, you should be thanked and appreciated for your courage in protecting your friend. Actually you did a great thing because your word as a witness may be more credible than his as a victim, and the bullying may end without him having looked like a wuss crying for help. Some day your friend will realize this, and I hope he will be man enough then to apologize to you. He is obviously very messed up in his mind right now-- bullying will do that to anyone. People can get picked to be a bullying victim for being different in any way, good or bad, or simply for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Anyway, there is no difference that deserves this treatment. It wasn't his fault.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDo you think I hurt his male ego?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 July 2008):
He's mad because he's the one this is happening to. You tell, he gets it worse. It's kind of like "toss him to the dogs."
Why are they picking on him? Is he that different? A bit nerdy? Too nice? Gets all the girls? or Leaving himself to open for bad treatment?
I would have talked to him about reporting it before doing it. I understand you're being a friend and don't like seeing him hurt. Does he allow this, or does he stick up for himself at all?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): I probably would've tried to talk him round doing it himself, or talk to another person confidentially, most likely teacher, to try and help him.
My friend did that when I did it. But then at the same time, I would've been mad if someone told the Head Master -and I was - when something happened to me.
Some people want things left alone. They don't want people to know about it - its private issues etc etc.
However this is far serious. Bullying can do all kinds of things to kids, particularly at the age we're at. You did the right thing. He probably, like I've already said, just didn't want people to find out - espiecally his parents.
Thats why hes mad at you, but your in a awkard and delicate situation that you would've had to do something about for his own personal safety.
What if something happened to him?!
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