A
female
age
36-40,
*ayla20
writes:my friend has pcos(doesnt have periods so chances of her getting pregnant are slim) she gets jealous of anyone who has a child or if she finds out someone is pregnant she goes on self destruct feeling sorry for herself.She's recently found out that her sister is pregnant and has taken it badly saying how her life gets worse and worse and its just more bad luck, along with 8 months ago when she found out i was pregnant with her brothers baby she reacted badly to that too but then got used to the idea but still in a way didnt like it.she thinks everyone treats her like dirt and pushes her to the sideline and that everyone else around her is being selfish because if they werent theyd think about her feelings before going ahead and hurting her. She doesnt have a partner at the moment no job and has recently moved in with her mum and she thinks everyone is trying to hurt her how can i get her to stop feeling sorry for herself without being horrible to her as i no she blames me in part of this?
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female
reader, heather016  +, writes (6 March 2010):
i m sorry if i sound a bit inappropriate but it's my opinion. i want kids so much but i m aware of how i could not provide for any kids right now, since i'm just a student anyway. i opt to get a pet. and for her case, when she's financially stable and she cant resist the urge to have kids, adopt kids then..
A
female
reader, veronika +, writes (6 March 2010):
 First of all, you need to have some understanding. At first glance it may seem selfish of her to think negatively every time she hears of someone becoming pregnant - but you need to understand the pain she's going through. The mental pain. In her mind, the chances of having a child naturally is a lot less than that of the average woman. She can't help but see how happy they are going to be with their new baby, and she feels bad and perhaps she may even feel like less of a woman because of it? I'm not saying she is, by the way, but that may be how she sees it. Just looking at the possibilities.
Secondly, she does need help. She sounds like she could be depressed over it. She also needs to understand that it's not the end of the world, and that IVF and adoption could be options for her in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): I think what is important is having a good balance of being honest and being tactful.
Tell her she is being selfish to expect people not to live their lives as they want to. She has to be gracious and be pleased for her family and friends and not allow what she's going through to rule her life.
She may need some support from her doctor in order to get her over her feelings and belief that everyone is trying to hurt her. As a friend, make time for her. She probably feels also that now everyone is having children she will no longer have things in common and might be scared of losing friends. The most you can do is reassure her that you are always her friend.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (5 March 2010):
She needs counseling from a professional to help her work through her feelings. PCOS no longer means she can't have kids as chances have improved with ivf techniques. So encourage her to get help.
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