A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,i am in a long term, committed relationship and i love my fiance with all of my being.I have told him openly and honestly, regarding the fact that i would love for us to have a threesome, after we're married, not because he doesn't fulfill me sexually, because he does and more than ever!He seems very turned on by the idea too, although he continues to tell me that i am his fantasy, he loves only me and he would never wish to ever compromise our relationship and what we've built.It's just that as a female who is very in tune with her own sexuality, the thought really turns me on.I know that playing out a fantasy would be very different to the thought alone, however, i have a very sexy female friend and she and i have talked about it and together we're keen to have some fun with my fiance.I would like to try something different, fun and kinky.I guess i wonder if this would change the dynamics between my fiance and i forever.This question goes out to anybody who has ever been involved in a threesome and what their true views of it are.Thank you in advance! :-)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2015): I would still watch your friend because you gvae her the go ahead to go with your fiance and she was extremely keen on the idea, too keen perhaps. Limit the time they spend together even if you're there with them. I.e. If she's more your friend, meet out or at hers not your house where he could be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo all who gave me feedback, i wish to say a big thank you, because your msgs really helped to open up my eyes & bring some clarity into view.
I have decided to keep this fantasy, simply that, a fantasy. :-)
I spoke about it very openly with my fiance last night, after he arrived home from work & as much as the thought turns us both on, we have both said that we will never place our relationship in intentional jeorpardy.
I know that a threesome has immense power to screw our relationship up, big time!
I also spoke to my gf & together, we agreed that the risk is way too great & she & i, don't wish to compromise what we've built either, so it's a win/win situation for all 3 of us.
My fiance & i are getting married on April 26th this year & that date is very poignant to us, as it's the date we first met in person & went out on our first date.
I have never been married before & i have never loved a man, the way in which i love him, so i don't want to mess things up for us, as what we have, i feel is truly sacred & pure.
Again, thank you to all!! :-)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 February 2015):
 I was a swinger with my ex husband.
I am a bisexual woman by choice.
I have had MMF I have had FMF I have had FFF and other combos... BTDT.. name it I've done it.
YES it changes the dynamic. YES it can be a problem later on
I would STRONGLY suggest that you leave it to fantasy.
IF YOU are interested in having a little girl on girl play and are using the 3some as an excuse... clear the girl play with your fiance' then go off and do it. be aware however if YOU get to play with girls so does he.
or boys if he wants.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (18 February 2015):
When two people are in a relationship, it called a couple...Never heard of two people being called a triple.
Adding spice to your relationship is great...but just like cooking...adding too much spice or the wrong kind of spice, can ruin the whole meal.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2015): I've had MMF. The other guy was a friend of ours. My then boyfriend got so jealous he couldn't get it up completely for a long time after the act. He lost his erection during the act too so he didn't even enjoy that.
Guess who had been hounding me for years to have a three some. That's right. The man who couldn't handle it. He broke his friendship with the other guy because he couldn't look at him without thinking about that night.
Suffice to say that relationship didn't last very long.
If this is the man you want to marry then it's probably not worth risking your future happiness for a few hours of fun.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2015):
I agree with "janniepeg."
If it is an awful experience then why do it?
It is a great one then you will want to do it again. Is this a road you wish to go down?
What happens if just the two of them connect without you?
This is better left as a fantasy because as a reality it will end poorly.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (18 February 2015):
 My experience is that it didn't change my dynamics. For me, it wasn't because it was a turn on but because at that time my sex drive was zero and I didn't want my ex husband to be deprived. It was more like try it, see what that hype was and see if I was able to do it. It wasn't a magical experience so we did it once and that's it. My ex husband and I loved each other. You are right, the thought alone is different from the real act and that is because the other woman and your husband will feel too guilty to enjoy it. When we all get this monogamy construct hammered into our heads so it's hard to imagine alternative ways of relating. Even when people say they are not jealous we think they are either lying or in denial. Reality #2 is that a man gets tired after sex so one woman is plenty. After he comes there is nothing left for the other one. It's not like in porn in which there are several retakes. After that threesome, that girl was still our friend and we were lucky she was so open minded.
To overcome the fear your relationship should be so solid that no matter what happens, such as her being the better lover, better body, tighter pussy, your husband prefers you even after you give birth to another baby. You are not at that point yet. I think that security comes after several years of marriage.
The reason why the third woman is called unicorn is because they are so rare. I don't know what got her to agree to do this. I am guessing you both have bisexual feelings towards each other.
The threesome can only be a short term thing because if this progresses then she will catch feelings for the both of you and unless you are into polyamory it is hard to say when she should stop visiting. If it was a good experience you would want to do it again. When you repeat this it could cause jealousy in one of you. You might not want to get to that point and stop it before it does. So why even start that? Having this fantasy is like opening the pandora's box. If your conclusion is that this threesome is wonderful. You might want to step up next time. Then one day you might try foursomes, swap partners and do full time swinging. The draw to excitement has no end. When the alternative sex life becomes a regular thing then your marriage dynamic would definitely change. Even if you say that won't happen your husband has to be equally on board with you. Best is to not open that door at all.
My experience is that it was not worth it. If you had to do it, do it after marriage. Your engagement is about the two of you. A threesome is the least romantic thing I could think of. Like, are you going to bring that sexy friend to the wedding too? That must be awkward.
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A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (18 February 2015):
 Honestly, if you truly love him and do want a future with him for definite, I wouldn't advise it. The reason I say that is because the risks here are much higher steaks than in a relationship that wouldn't matter too much if it ended, which threesomes have a habit of doing, more often than not.
Fantasies that involve others are usually best kept as that; you could easily lose a friendship and/or your fiancée....
The question you have to ask yourself is: is it worth the risk?
If you can be immensely happy without it, I wouldn't suggest risking losing the person you love and want to marry.
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