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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been dating this woman for 9 months and got engaged 3 months ago. We are in the process of buying a house together at present. Up to 3 months ago, we were all about each other, doing things together and loved each others company. The problem is that recently she now has no interest in getting a house together and says lets wait a while things have moved too fast. Her ex is now back in town that she has not seen for 13 months. She talks about him alot and I get annoyed when she does, then we argue. I know she still loves him, but had to move on as he drank too much and was a loser. We love each other very much, I still love her, but she has gone distant from me and she is not very intimate or affectionate with me lately, but still wants to see me and tells me she loves me. She has wanted to breakup with me on many occasions, but then she would later change her mind or call me again the next day and say sorry to me and be all different like nothing happened.She also is having a hard time with issues and changes going on in her job and is stressed about it and wants to find a new job, not to mention a hard time from her family as to when we are having the wedding. Is she losing love for me and should I breakup with her and get on with my life or give her time and space to sort out stuff in her life and put no pressure on her about a house or wedding? I love her very much and would do anything for her as we spend time together everyday, but are these signs telling me that she dont love me anymore or does she just need more time to think about the future.Need to know whats the best thing for me to do here? HELP!
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female
reader, MissMo +, writes (24 March 2006):
you shouldn't have to guess about your fiancee's committment to you, especially when you're about to get married. i would stop talking about marriage and a future together, and give her space to figure out what she wants. she may be confused about her ex being back in the picture. She's probably not completely over him. It sounds like you love her, but you're doing yourself a disservice if you rush into marriage with her. You and she need to be sure that she'll always be there for you... because marriage is forever. Have this talk with her and leave her alone for a couple of weeks until she figures out what she wants. Make sure that you use your common sense and gut instincts when talking to her. Make sure that she's being sincere and that she has no doubts about wanting to be with you. Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2006): Your fiancee is losing interest in you. She probably wants to break up with you, but feels guilty about it. YOU need to slow down. Engaged after six months? Pal, any woman will get turned off at a guy coming on that fast.
You yourself came up with what you need to do. Back off, tell her you want space, and do not talk to her for six months. If she wants you back after some time apart fine, if not go find somebody else. To be honest it sounds like she keeps you around to satisfy her ego. STOP being so available. When she calls to get together, tell her you're busy. Good luck...
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