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male
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anonymous
writes: Silence that is causing boredom in our relationship!When me and my girlfriend are just sitting down in front of the tv or sitting in the car, there are times when we would have nothing to say to each other and get totally bored of one another as the silence sets in. The conversation can just run dry and be dead and then other times we are all talk together. We do have things in common and have similar interests, do you think we are not suited for each other or should we do more things together? Do either of us need to work on our conversational skills maybe? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (23 March 2006):
 If conversation is running dry, and you really feel that it's "boredom", then possibly, yes, you aren't suited to each other. Look at other aspects of your relationship, such as what you do when you're together, and how you feel about him as a man and a friend, and what you expect to be doing in 5 years, and you should be able to judge whether you're together for love or out of habit.
If you're not talking because you're nervous or shy, that's a different situation. I find the most satisfying and interesting conversations have to do with subjects that I find most interesting. So try discussing your passions with each other. If you're interested in (insert your interest here), then start a little discussion about it, and why.
When the matter reaches a logical stopping point, allow him to bring up something dear to his heart.
Ideas are your best bet. Theories that can be discussed and dissected and playfully debated can tell you a lot about the personality of your boyfriend, and about you. Some possible topics: sports, international events, local politics, celebrity gossip, science developments, human development/evolution, psychology, comparative religions.
Learn to DO things together too, instead of being passively entertained with DVDs and music all the time. Talk walks together, work on your car together, visit a museum, go to the library and choose books for each other. All those kinds of activities help you develop as a couple.
Good luck.
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female
reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (23 March 2006):
 I agree with Sexybum!
At the beginning of every relationship we all have a lot to talk about because everything we have dome before has been separate from each other. As you spend more and more time together, more of your experiences are shared so you have less new things to talk about.
I have it when my husband goes away on business trips, but I love it that when he comes back we have tons of things to tell each other.
Another problem I find is that if you are constantly calling or texting each other about things, then by the time you actually see each other there is nothing left to talk about. If this is the case for you, next time yu get the urge to text her to tell her something just save it for next time you meet!
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A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (23 March 2006):
 Wow, maybe you are reading too much into this!? From what you have written I would suggest completely the opposite! How much time do you spend together and what do you do in yuor time apart. If the answer is nothing then that's where the problem is.
You need to persue different hobbies and actually DO THINGS when you are not together otherwise you won't have anything to talk about when you are together. I think that every couples goes through quiet stages, its just another phase of a relationship...
Pherhaps you could start working on something together, like a trip or holiday. Sit down with her and start making a list of dreams you haven't acheived yet. Don't make it formal make it fun!! Then decide which one you are going to do together and make it happen! Get working on it, I guarantee that will give you plenty to talk about!
Good luck, Let me know if this has helped, from Sexybum x
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