A
female
age
41-50,
*egret
writes:please someone helpim in tears as i write this.ive made the biggest mistake of my life.6 years ago i split with my boyfriend-i felt he didnt care i did a lot for him and i felt taken for granted. at the same time i was good friends with somebody else st my work and me and my ex finished and eventually i went out with the other person. i dont know what is wrong with me.two years ago i also discovered by searching on the internet that the house me and my first ex had he had sold and never told mein the 5 years ive been with that other person he has been emotionally abusive to me is very cold and doesnt value me at all he has also been physically abusive pushing me a few times, although that hasnt happened for years.he has borrowed so much money off me yet has never thanked me once so i am in serious financial trouble which i got sorted but my credit file is damaged for 6 years yet he says its my own doing.recently i heard through a mutual friend my first ex got married.when i heard the news it was like some put a knife into me. since then i have been crying non stop i feel awfully terrible i keep aching to talk to my ex although i know i never could i just feel so low and full of regret please someone advise me i feel so full of regret im dying to talk to my first ex but i never can i hate myself.
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male
reader, GoldenOne  +, writes (7 June 2009):
I would recommend you really focus on you and what is best for you. As the other post states you are in a toxic relationship. When you begin to allow other to take you for granted you give away your power and make them stronger as you get weaker. The weaker you get the harder it is to move on.
Your ex has shown you the way out in a strange way...move on...focus on yourself. Then this person you are now with..will perhaps look at you the way you now feel about your first ex. If you are strong,happy and have high self-esteem the one you are currently with..will oneday have perhaps those same regrets about letting you go and not appreciating you.
Oneday if you decide to get married and are happy...your current partner may want to reach out to and say something...but you will have moved on.
Just me 02 cents. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): We never appreciate what we've had until we lose it! Your ex is married now, Just wish him happiness and move on. We can't turn back the clock, or hit rewind. What's done is done!
Now, the relationship you are in now is toxic and destructive. Get out while you still can!
I spent 16 years in an abusive relationship, alway trying and hoping that it would get better! Which of course, it never did, however it did get worse through the years. Your decription of the relationship sounds just like mine did.
When I finally came to the realization that he might kill me one day...I walked away! It's been 2 years now, and I have no regrets. My decision has given me my life back!
Please, seriously consider leaving this guy. I know it's scary, but that's just the fear of the unknown which you can conquer! The way I look at it is being alone is a hell of a lot better than being in a relationship that causes you to feel ALL ALONE! If that makes sense to you, then start taking care of yourself! You are a human being who deserves to be treated as such! You don't deserve to be abused and used. Life has so much more to offer! Be couragous and take that first big step! You won't regret it!
Best of Luck,
Britt
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