A
female
age
,
*ananette56
writes:My fiance want too much oral sex. I was just getting use to giving head and then last night he actually tried f****** me in the mouth. Holding my head while he was on his knees. I was not use to this so he hollers at me for doing it wrong. I felt almost like i was being mouth raped.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 March 2021):
 I don't understand what he means by "intercourse is cheap"? Does he mean that it's meaningless? And thus gives him the "right" to treat you like some blow-up sex doll?
I don't think he will change but I am glad you are talking to a therapist about this. It means that you had a talk with your fiance that it wasn't OK for him to do.
Always remember that you can say NO or STOP at any point in time during sex. You don't HAVE to submit to his wants. Sex is a mutual experience that should be PLEASURABLE for you both.
I hope you will give us an update on what your therapist said about all this and how YOU are doing.
A
female
reader, nananette56 +, writes (14 March 2021):
nananette56 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate We are now talking to a therapist. I am not sure if this will help because he is convinced that intercourse is cheap and does not make him feel connected. I will update more as we go through therapy.
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A
female
reader, nananette56 +, writes (14 March 2021):
nananette56 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate We are now talking to a therapist. I am not sure if this will help because he is convinced that intercourse is cheap and does not make him feel connected. I will update more as we go through therapy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2021): There's a skill to mouth f ing and it's mostly on him. It can be fun when done right, but YOU have to be into it. Tell him you're NOT. Sounds like you're a late bloomer dirty deed doer -- there's nothing wrong with that. Dump him if he does it again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2021): He sounds like a really uncaring lover.
Do you enjoy sex with him at all?
Sex is an important part of relationships, and if you are unhappy with it, the time to get out is before marriage.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (1 March 2021):
 Sweetheart, is this what you want for your future? Do you think you deserve to be abused in this way? Because you need to realize this IS abuse.
Your fiance is not going to change except for the worse. He is likely to become increasingly more demanding the more you go along with what he wants.
Please think long and hard about whether you want to marry this man.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (1 March 2021):
 I think he is totally wrong yelling at you,i mean, who does he think he is treating you like this- your his fiance, not an inflatable doll.
I think communication is key here. If this dreadful behaviour happens again i would consider leaving him as i think you deserve better than this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2021): He is your fiance? Are you sure about that? He was acting pretty disrespectful towards you. Like you were a piece of meat or a porn actress at his beck and call, doing whatever he wants you to do. This was totally one sided. It was all about his own gratification. He did not care at all about you or your feelings. How utterly insensitive and selfish of this person. Why would you want to spend your life with someone like this? I think it is good that he did this. It is your cue to tell him this relationship is over. I can tell you from experience that men like this are NOT husband material.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2021): You were being mouth raped and I would be interested to know how this situation ended.
You do have defences, however, but don't feel bad if you didn't resort to them!
You were intimidated by the shouting.
This kind of coercive sex is actually a form of sexual abuse.
This is a form of domestic violence.
I suggest you return the ring and tell him the wedding is off, because this is not a good beginning.
A sensitive lover should be aware of your needs and not make excessive demands from you on the surmise that if you don't give him what he wants then he can holler and yell (and potentially escalate it to hitting you in the face of suffocating you with his relentless thrusting).
Recommended tactics in this situation is to bite his d*** very hard, maybe even enough to draw blood.
That is also fairly repulsive for you but sometimes you have to be prepared to tell a person non-verbally that you are not enjoying it and this does get the message across (but he could need a trip to A+E afterwards!)
Or you could grab his balls and twist them mercilessly. This will reduce his ardour but not improve his mood.
The best protection is to tell him to clear off, it's over and he can get his blow job elsewhere.
He sounds fairly useless in my opinion and not someone you would want to be permanently linked too.
Believe me, I've heard this before.
Even young ambitious prostitutes have complained about nearly dislocating their jaw whilst giving lengthy blow jobs.
I don't understand why women feel coerced into doing horrible things to satisfy their partners and even worse why they assume that it's their fault for doing it wrong!
Or why the male thinks he has the right to holler and yell and force his partner to do something that is uncomfortable for them!
It makes you think that a taser would be a handy thing to give as an engagement gift.
Then when the fiance gets over ardent or demanding you could just give them a quick zap!
Then they may remember that you are a person too and not just a vessel for their sexual satisfaction.
This may be beyond the comprehension of many men addicted to porn!
And just for your own reassurance I don't think you should allow yourself to be in a situation that requires a taser to reduce the ardour.
I once heard a guy who prized himself on his sexual appetite and he complained to me that his gorgeous girlfriend had ended it with him because he wanted too much sex!
He was mystified.
" How can anyone want too much sex?" he said absolutely astounded at the concept.
I knew exactly what his former partner said but I didn't bother to enlighten him!
He thought so much of himself that it never occurred to him that 'too much sex' meant 'too much sex that his partner wasn't enjoying!'
He hadn't thought of her feelings at all.
He just thought it was a weird 'woman' thing!
So you could tell your partner that it will never work out because he wants too much sex and he probably will just accept it as a female mystery.
He may never find a woman willing to put up with him but he could take his dented ego and try out for a porn role.
If you think I've been really harsh here it's because I don't think anyone should have to feel mouth raped.
If you're prepared to forgive him over his demand for oral sex then let him know that your teeth are sharp and tell him that you have a reflex that makes you want to bite his **** like a crunchy apple and he will learn to slow down and stop thrusting as if you are Linda Lovelace who openly said she was mouth raped in the making of a poem film!
Linda Lovelace was billed as an amazing 'porn star', literally gagging for it.
Years later it emerged that she was in an abusive relationship and her husband got her to 'consent' to porn roles by pointing a loaded gun at her head and threatening to kill her.
Even Angelina Jolie with her kick-ass female role in films is just another gang rape survivor and the instigator Harvey Weinstein lingers in jail to this day!
The truth is that some men want to propagate the myth that women want to be abused but as most women know that is a pathetic excuse from someone who needs a victim to abuse.
You can decide which approach to take and what you can and can't put up with!
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A
female
reader, Letlovelead  +, writes (1 March 2021):
He's definitely watching too much. Besides he shouldn't treat you like a sex slave. If he really loves you and wants to have a future with you he would understand when you voice it out.
Ladies sometimes feel they have to please their man always..but that shouldn't be the case!
You need to let him know how you felt. Let him know his boundaries. Sex shouldn't always be one sided. Let him know how you felt when he did that. If he can't respect and treat you better than he doesn't deserve you.
It's absolutely OKAY to voice out your feelings during sex... perhaps he thought you enjoyed it.
Don't ever let anyone treat you like that!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 March 2021):
OK, TELL him just that! That it felt like a "mouth rape". That you didn't enjoy it and you don't want anything like that in the future.
I think your fiance has been watching too much porn, to be honest.
If you can HAVE sex, you can TALK about sex.
YOU need to set some boundaries, OP
And it's DEFINITELY OK to say, STOP this is not what I want - I don't LIKE this. It's felt uncomfortable and downright wrong.
Did he yell at you? For "doing it wrong"? WHAT is wrong with him?
This is not OK for him to do. Certainly not without telling you first what it is he wants to try and you CONSENTING.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2021): Tell him no more oral until he respects you....which dear he does not.You two need to have a talk about what is ok and what is not.Too many times young men watch porn and think that is the way it really is when if fact they do not shows retakes and all the breaks they have so it is not realistic at all.Too many men think porn is real.Now remember you do not ever have to do anything you do not want to do.Say no.You have that right.If he gets to crazy during you also have the right to stop.Use your right to stop.Do not care if he gets mad...If he does he is not the one for you.But most of all you two need to sit down when you are not having sex and have a talk about sex.You must tell him what you do not like and he should tell you so when you have sex this never happens again.
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