A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Heya,Well I'm a busy full time mum of two beautiful, adorable little boys. My eldest is nearly 18 months and my youngest just turned 7 weeks. I'm very happily engaged to my partner whome I met about 16 months ago now. Althought our eldest son isn't biologicaly his, they are as close as any father and son could ever possibly be. As you can imagine because he's been there since Alexander was only 8 weeks old, he's pretty much been there from the start and they have a very, very close bond. He calls him daddy and treats him no differently atall from our newborn who is biologicaly his. In this instance blood seems to count for nothing as he truly does see him as his son. Problem is Alexander's biological father is the birth certifcate althought he hasn't seen him since he was 2 weeks old. I tried my best to encourage him to see Alexander and be a father but he just wasn't interested and only botherd to see him once.As my partner is more of a dad then this spineless sperm donor will ever be, he wants to adopt Alexander - which I fully support and want. We plan to marry soon anyway so itjust seems right that he be Alexanders Legan Guardian along with me. But of course the father on the birth cert has to sign for the adoption...which i'd gone online and asked him and he agreed to sign the forms when we had them. After that we talked a few times and things seemed amicable. But then all of a sudden he went silent and refused to talk to me, ignoring me conpletely. I know he is just purposely ignoreing me as i changed my number and let him know - he replied until he knew it was me then silence again. The deed poll forms to change alexanders surname to my fiance are sitting here waiting to be signed by my ex, along with the adoption papers which i wll have soon. I've asked him whats going on and it he'll still sign them and he just ignores me. What can I do?! Alexander still has a man he doens't knows surname, which i hate.. if he continues ignoring me what can i do? i cant leave alexander with his last name and him as his legal guardian...Please please help. sorry this is so long
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female
reader, Eva_shaw +, writes (19 April 2010):
I agree with honeypie. Get a lawyer and serve him. He will sign. It will potentially save him tons of money and any half decent attorney will tell him that. Just don't let him dangle you around with it.Remind him it is for his own benefit and threaten with child support law suits which could possible cast a cloud over any present or potential pay check... It should work like a charm. Sad but true.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Get a lawyer, have him served. Unfortunately you can't "MAKE" him sing it, but.... I would let him understand that if he does, he won't have to worry about child support. Now if he doesn't sign the papers, I would ask for child support.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): What a wonderful man! I'm glad for you to have found such a happy family life!
After you two marry you could take the ex to court to fight for custody for your future husband. Maybe if you tell him that if he signs over rights he wont have to pay child support that will make a difference. I would take the legal channels after you are married. Your finace and you can prove that y'all are the ones who support the oldest, therefore should have full legal rights! In the U.S. there are laws about child abandonment. After a certain time frame the biological parent has abandoned the child and forefitted rights. That's if he isnt paying support. Do you have laws like that?
Whatever happens, just remember that your son has a daddy, and you have the (future) husband you deserve. Congratulations on the engagement!
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