A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi . I hope you can help . I have a boyfriend at the moment , and obviously i have dated quite a few guys since school , as i left 10 years ago , but i recently found one of my old school crushes on facebook , and i've started liking him again. He still looks pretty much the same as he did at school , only older of course . I haven't actually seen him since then though . I can't stop looking at his page . The thing is though , he has a girlfriend now and two kids . I keep wishing that we had ended up together when we were younger. I have changed a lot since i left school , with my looks and personality , and i wish i was how i am now back then . I know you can't change what has happened though . I never knew for sure whether he liked me at school or not . My friends asked him out for me afew times, but he said no . But , he used to wink at me every time he saw me , and once , he was sat behind me on the bus and he kept pulling my hair gently . We only ever saw each other at breaktimes or on the bus home , as he was in the year above me . We had a chat sometimes when we saw each other though too, just asking how we both were . Another time , i was sat on my own as i was having lunch , and he and his friend were in the queue to get their lunch . I was facing away from them and he kept blowing on my hair , i guess to get my attention. His friend said " hey , is that your friend ? " and pointed to the empty seat opposite mine, obviously making a sarcastic remark , then the guy i'm talking about called him a b**tard for saying that . Another time my friends asked him what he wanted from me for christmas , and he said a shag ! . Lol shag is a slang word meaning to have sex in England . What do you think of how he acted back then , and how can i get over how i feel about him now ?.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): OK. I think you're getting WAY TOO NOSTALGIC about relatively trivial events (even if they didn't seem so at the time) that happened years ago. Maybe he liked you, maybe he didn't. Honestly, at this stage it doesn't really matter very much. This guy is a fantasy for you. You never really knew him as a person and you certainly don't know after all these years. Besides, you were kids back then. Ant relationship that may have developed would likely have ended LONG AGO anyway. You're dreaming of this guy as if he's some sort of lost love. The mythical 'one who got away'. He isn't. What you need to do is stop hankering for the past, imagining your life had it turned out differently, and focus on your present and future with your actual boyfriend - a real person, not a self-constructed illusion. This other guy probably doesn't even remember you by now. Besides, he's well and truly taken. There is no such thing as THE ONE. There are many people out there with whom we can be happy with. Maybe your boyfriend is one of those guys. But just forget about your old crush. Leave those thoughts and feelings where they belong - the past.
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