A
female
age
41-50,
*rinitygrace
writes:Hello everyone. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years. We have a beautiful 13-month-old daughter together. Just yesterday he admitted to me that he was using my computer to look up internet porn. This is after months and months of lying to me about it. See, he would get on my computer and then delete the history and all of my saved passwords. Everytime I would get on it, I'd have to re-enter all of my different passwords. It got really annoying! He first said it was because my computer did it automatically. Then he lied and said it was so I wouldn't get into his e-mail. When I asked him if he had anything to hide, he said no.Well yesterday after he used my computer, a porn site just kept popping up. Mind you I just had spyware taken off of my computer. My younger brother who took off the spyware told me that someone may have been downloading porn on it. I didn't think it my was fiance since his brother also lives with us and sometimes uses my computer and has been known to have a problem with porn too.Even after this porn site kept popping up he still denied it. I went upstairs and spent a few hours just laying in my bed, depressed.After he left for work, I told him I was in the process of downloading an application to restore all of the history. He finally fessed up and said that he "doesn't give a crap(but the other word), that yes he's looking up porn."He said it was because I was sick all weekend and me talking about being sick really wasn't a turn-on.So he's trying to blame me for his addiction. I feel horrible! I am going to go see a Christian counselor today. He has yet to apologize even though I have.I don't know what to do about this situation. My already bad depression is getting worse because I think this is all my fault!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): Hi I too was in a similar situation. When pregnant with our third child i found a stash of porn and pics of naked models in my fiance's car, under the bed and in his workbag. He lied to me for 1 whole year that the porn was not his before he finally admitted it belonged to him. I was so gutted that he had all this and also couldn't believe he could lie to me for so lng. The lies caused me to doubt his trustworthiness and the whole pathetic situation contributed to my post-natal depession. I don't really have a solution to this problem other than to try and not let it eat you up inside. Focus on your child because before you know it this precious time will be past. Im sorry you are going through all this heartache- take care x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): Don't take on the blame for this! You have done nothing wrong. You were sick this weekend? And how long has he been looking at porn???? What a feeble excuse! He's trying to make himself the poor, neglected victim here!
It's good you are going to see a counseller. I hope you can get some peace out of it.
I agree with everyone else, that most men do enjoy porn. And it can be harmless. As women, we all want to be the one turning our guy on. But men are different creatures...they need more! If you can separate they two, and not feel insecure about yourself, then I see no harm.
I'd be more concerned about his lying, and turning this all on you!
Send us a follow up and let us know what's going on!
Good Luck and God Bless!
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A
female
reader, Felina  +, writes (24 November 2008):
 Hi there.Congratulations for the baby!!Well I think almost every man likes to watch porn,even if they have a wonderful fullfilling sex life.Masturbation and porn will always be a part of man´s world.You shouldn t see it as a treath,or as a bad thing.They just have to do it.Most of them do it in secret.
I think he was an idiot,blaming you for being sick.But maybe you shouldnt worry about the porn.They just love it.Why dont you allow him to watch,and maybe,when youre healthy and better,you can watch it together.Its a very good turn on for a couple.And maybe it will make your depression go away.
Good luck with the baby and all.
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A
female
reader, @pril +, writes (24 November 2008):
 Im kinda in the same boat here.Only mine has to do with Transexual porn more than anything else.He denies it still though after 4years of it popping up on computers,ipods,disc,etc.Honey men are going to wath porn if its available.Its a fact,and most women too.Its good he doesnt denie it.Not so good hes blaming you.I know alot of you will think this next line is scandelous.. Leave a trail of some good muscle bound 10inch wankers for him to find.When he ask,tell him its his fault! Good luck!
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A
female
reader, MT19  +, writes (24 November 2008):
This is not all your fault!!!! Do not let this man make you feel bad about yourself it wasn't like you were ignoring him on purpose your were ill!!! He should have been looking after you and your daughter not on the internet downloading porn. You are obviously a deeply religious person and porn bothers you, however if you wish your relationship to work their needs to be a certain amount of compramise. Ask him not to quit looking at porn alltogether but to cut down and focus that extra energy on his sex life with you. If you and he spend some time making eachother feel special it may even help a little bit with your depression.Good Luck !!!
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