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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 19. I have been with my fiance for 2 years. I love him very much and we're expecting our 1st child. I have never been in a serious relationship before, so from the beginning all I asked of him was to tell me the truth. I was a virgin when I met him and I knew he had sex with one or two people so I asked him had he ever had a STD or STI his answer was No! Later on in the relationship, I found out that he had lied and he did catch an STI but it was cured before we got together. I feel like I can't trust him anymore! Since then I found out he had slept with a lot more people than what he had told me and I knew a couple of them. I gave him every opportuity to tell me everything but he chose not to. It really bothers me. I try to ask him about his past and he says "its my past, leave it there". I think about it all the time. I feel like I cant move on. I feel like I can't be fully happy with him anymore but we're now having a child! Am I just jealous? What can I do?
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reader, becky05 +, writes (12 August 2005):
He probably thought you wouldnt like him as much if he told you the truth in the beginning. He obviously trusts you more now to be able to confess to this.
You will have to put this behind you if not for yourself then for the sake of your child.
A
female
reader, sunnydays +, writes (12 August 2005):
He is right it is in the past. All that matters is the future for you two. In my experience a lot of people lie about how many people they have slept with. I know I have. The only reason is because a) its non of their business and b) sometimes partners don't need to know about those sort of things. All that matters is that you are the only person he is sleeping with now. My advice is to put the past behind you and just concentrate on the future. Ask yourself 'have you ever lied to him?'. Sometimes we lie about our past to protect and not hurt loved ones. Anyway why do you want to know who he has slept with? Is it going to make you feel better? Does it really matter anyway? Personally that is a little lie and if that's the only reason why you doubt your trust for him then its your trust issue and you need to deal with it within yourself. Just trust him girl if that's the only issue!
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