A
female
age
51-59,
*ariet
writes:I love him but am i being controlled. my fiancee and I have been together for over 2 years. he cheated on me with a prostitute after 8 months, a month before we were to be married. we went to counselling, but he could not tell me why he did it. He also has ED through penetrative sex but not oral???he has a short temper and its hard to be open with him. when there is an arguement (that he normally instigates) he leaves for days before he cools down. Then he comes back with lots of promises and affection. But i worry he's been up to his old tricks.I am worried I won't find someone who will show me the love that he does sometimes. I am 40, with a good career, but this is getting in the way. I am consumed with worry.
View related questions:
cheated on me, fiance, prostitute Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): I suggest you leave this guy. He is trying to control you. Do you want that in your life? You can find somebody better. As far as only getting aroused from oral I have heard of that before. Oral provies a constant stimulation where as penetrating sex is a kind of stimulation that goes on and off. Its very hard to explain but I have heard of that before. You may need to spice thing up talk dirty, or maybe watch porn before doing it, start with oral then let it lead to more.
[email address blocked]
A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (7 August 2007):
Doing-Time, That's what they do in jail, but then there is such a thing as doing time in the jail of one's mind. You have the key to unlock the door to your relationalship-jail, but the fear of having no one in your life will keep that door to your physical and emotional door to freedom closed. You know what you need do,without even asking. I would wonder what's the difference,empty heart and empty arms,with him,or ditto without him. You have given him too many reprieves already. He isn't going to change,so why are you still hanging around a failed relationship?
...............................
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Sounds like you would be better off alone than with a man like this. Get out of this relationship. He's bad news and you're worth so much more.
...............................
A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Hmm, I think you need to look after yourself and ask yourselfe a few questions. Questions like- Why do you love him?- What is the real reason you are with him? Is it only just because of your worry that you won't find someone else? Or maybe do you think you don't deserve better?- What do you think about marriage?- What will the marriage with this man be like? Will it be like you wish it to be? Is everything all rigt about this? Do you have unrealistic wishes? Or do you just don't think about yourself?- What is more important for you: your career or to be married?- Would you rather be married with just anyone you are not really sure about or would it be better not to get married?- Would you rather get married as soon as possible or wait a few years for Mr.Right?Be honest with yourselfe and ask yourself what you realy want! You will make a decision which will affect your live mor than anything else! Do only what is best for you! It is your decision and only you say what you want. Only you can answer all this questions to yourself! Only you know what is best for you!One important thing you need to know: you will never ever be able to change this man. He will not be the man you wish him to be. If you want to marry this man, you have to accept him, like he is for the person he is and you need to be sure that you will be able to live with this person for the rest of your life! Real, deep love loves the person for who he or she is and not the dream of that person!Good luck on your decision!
...............................
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (6 August 2007):
 Hi,
The first thing that popped out at me, was the fact you are still with him after he cheated, with a prostitute. Now i take it that problem has been resolved?.. This man is certanly not treating you with the respect you deserve. Are you sure this is the man you wish to give your life away to? Dont worry about your career, it is great you have a good job, as many dont.. He is leaving you for days on end because he needs to cool down. I suggest the next time he leaves, maybe say well if you walk out of that door, there is no coming back. If he goes.. He is not worth it. You dont have to put up with him, he isnt treating you with any respect.
I realy hope i could help,
Feel free to mail me if you would like to talk x
...............................
|
