A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so my fiance cheated on me with a guy she went to high school with. she says i wasnt giving her enough attention and that i would never listen to her when she tried to talk to me(when she never did in the first place) we talked about it and cried a lot and i decided to still be with her considering she is the mother of my child and i really really do love her. after that was all said and done, i found out that she has been talking to him ever since. she tells him she loves him and at the same time tells me she loves me. i havnt signed the birth certificate yet so everytime i bring up us breaking it off she tells me that i will never see my daughter again. i also just found out that she has been talking to another guy that lives in f**king conneticut or somewhere up north....theres so many details its hard to add them all. the guy from conneticut asked her to marry him and she said she couldnt right now....right now??? so anyway she tells me that i have to prove to her that im the guy that she fell in love with, as she is still talking to these guys. your prolly thinking im stupid but when there is my daughter involved i really dont know wut to f**king do :( i love her to death but at the same time i dont know if she will ever stop talking to these guys. she even goes over to see the guy that lives pretty close to us. im the only one working so it pisses me off that she uses the gas that i put in the car to go see him and do god knows what. oh and by the way i dont have my license. so if we split i would never see my daughter again and i would not have a ride to work and her name is also on the lease to the apartment that we live at. so even if we did split she says she wouldnt go anywhere but i would be stuck working my ass off and paying bills and putting gas in her car just to get royaly f**ked in the ass. like i said i lover her soooo much. i really cant live without her. i just really need some advice guys. if you have any questions just post a comment and i will answer it. like i said there are a lot of details that i couldnt get to. its almost 5 in the morning here and im depressed and stressed out. please i need help with what i should do :(
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cheated on me, depressed, fell in love, fiance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, tripp +, writes (25 June 2012):
It is not healthy to stay in relationship so on the other hand it appears that you are in a tough situation all I can say is start working very hard on bettering yourself because you have to get out it will get worse just continue working hard and start detatching yourself and pray about your daughter and consider the relationship over.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2012): First of all, take a step back...
The girl you really love doesnt love you. She cheats on you then says its your fault.... then still sees the guy on your fuel. Also talks to another guy whilst basically blackmailing you about seeing your daughter.
She is a user, cheater and a liar of the highest degree.
It seems a little bit like you are making excuses not to leave.... because you depend on her so much.
Get your name on the birth certificate and then try and obtain some legal advice about the custody situation. Your daughter is the most important thing..... but no way can you continue to live in this situation while waiting for your driving license..
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A
female
reader, seeyes22 +, writes (25 June 2012):
I am sorry about your situation. But you need a dose of the truth. First, you need to be responsible for getting to work on your own. The child should never be in the middle not matter the feeling of the parents. Get yourself solvent and get an attorney. If she is supporting the child, she owns a car, she has the lease in her name doesn't that tell you something. If you cannot afford housing, then you cannot take care of a child. I think your problems is because you are not very responsible. What would you do if there was not a child and she booted you out? She is not responsible for you as a person. It sounds like she was pretty understanding. Hope you can work somethin out but you are on some pretty shaky ground.
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A
female
reader, Sinful_thinker89 +, writes (25 June 2012):
 Definitely go to the family courts and set up some kind of custody hearing. I know how hard that must be on you, my fiancee wasnt able to sign her birth certificate either due to me not having my state id, but nevertheless I would never hold it over his head. I would play nice until I get my ducks in a row and then leave her because what she has done and what she continues to do is not fair to you or your daughter. its so very wrong to have her say accept me cheating and if you leave you won't.see your daughter.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 i dont know what to say- first thing get your name on that birth certificate.
sounds like she has you proper whipped due to your lack of independence and dependence on her to help you along, also it sounds like you are with an emotionally abusive woman who has little respect for you and wants to keep you with her while she plays away at the same time.
keep her sweet for now- get your driving licence, get your name on the birth certificate and when the lease runs out if you can drive plan your escape. take time to get your life in order- what about your family? can they help, do you even know for a fact that the child is yours? is that why your name is not yet on the certificate? too many questions, start making yourself independent 1 piece at a time...
best of luck
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