A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I had a fwb type thing going on for a year or so. The guy never promised anything more and when I started to get feelings i stopped the arrangement, told him to delete my number blah de blah. That was 3 months ago, he has txt here n there but i ignored.this weekend I was at a big do and after got the transport home and who should i see but fwb in queue,with a woman.When i past to get to my seat he spoke said hi how are you, I replied, went and sat down.Thing is the woman,i dont know who she is there was no affection between them,but, it means i could, probly was, seeing him when he was married or dating.Something i swore i would never do to another woman.I am SO angry with myself now.And him. I have to let it go i know but howd you get past the guilt? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): Cheers for responses
i feel a bit better now. learnt my lesson about fwb's too. Its not a great arrangement. When feelings are one sided its best to walk away and if he was/is spoken for I did not know at the time, which shows my radar was clouded.
I dont feel anger toward him cos its a waste of time when they dont care. x
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 You didn't know he was involved with someone else. I don't think you should feel any guilt.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 you have no clue he was married or dating...
you ended it 3 months ago for all you know it was a first date with this woman....
in addition you have no guilt.. if you had NO CLUE he was attached how are you at fault???
you did good 3 months ago when you ended it for the right reasons... don't wreck it with second thoughts or anger...
keep walking forward.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (25 June 2012):
 You don't know that he is/was married, just seeing him with another woman isn't proof of that, it could have been his sister or his cousin or a friend.
You have nothing to be guilty for, and I suspect you are torturing yourself because you may still have feelings for him and are trying to find a way to strengthen your choice to end things with him.
Firstly, well done for breaking up from him...FWB, for women can leave them feeling rejected, hurt, desperate and can lower self esteem. FWB can seriously take huge chunks of your life away and leave you with nothing when the guy moves on...it's a very negative painful experience for women. FWB almost never turns into a loving relationship as many here will attest to.
Women torture themselves for answers when FWB's end, but the reality is that when it ends...it means nothing but for the woman she still feels she has lost something 'special'.
Let it go, take another bus, the rest of your life belongs to you and your adventures...you can let him go without guilt.
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