A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am in a very tricky situation,recently i have been in contact with a turkish guy i met online,i wasnt looking for a new man but he added me on a social network site and i accepted,normally i ignore.I am married,to an english man but i have to say i am unhappy with my husband,he has hurt me on may occasions since our marriage and i have to live with this hurt,or do i? I have 2 children but not to my husband.Anyway since meeting this turkish guy,online, i feel alot of love towards him and he feels the same,he knows about my marriage and he asked me not to end it with my husband,but i have told him i wont cheat on him,and he accepts this.But he keeps saying he wants me to go to see him in Turkey.He hasnt hinted once about coming to the uk,so i know hes not just after a visa!!I am slowly falling in love with this guy and he feels the same for me,we chat everyday and he makes me feel so special and loved.When he is at work he does his best to come online to speak with me.He tells me he has been out with only a few girls,but he always says i am his heart,and without me his heart would stop! I tried to end my feelings for him,and when i told him he was so upset and i tried not to speak to him,but my heart got the better of me and i contacted him again,But now my feelings for him are over taking me,and i am worried now that i might not feel ever the same about my husband!! The turkish guy is so very jealous of me and asks that i tell him what i do each day,he calls me his wife.When we speak online i get feelings inside of me,that i have never ever had in my life.Please someone help,i dont want to make a wrong decision,but if i intend to meet the turkish man,then i will have to leave my husband,as i am no cheat!! What should i do?? I am so CONFUSED!!
View related questions:
at work, jealous, met online Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, spiderweb  +, writes (20 August 2010):
 For goodness sake girl - get real! This man could even be dangerous! You sound completely delusional, impulsive and (reading between the lines) it sounds as if most of your unhappiness has been brought on by your own bad choices! Please... think of your children. This man is at best a control freak and his agenda is certainly suspect. Don't even think of going to Turkey - you may never been seen again, silly girl. You are not his wife and he has no rights over you. Run a mile. Delete him. Do NOT continue with this desperate fantasy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Honey if you were telling me this face to face I'd have to slap you because you sound as though you're not thinking straight. You're being showered with attention and affectionate words - but this is a man you haven't looked in the eye, sat across a table from - really checked out. You sound like you're getting totally carried away with a fantasy. Online relationships are real - but they are just that - 'online'. His personal habits aren't visible, his passing comments aren't visible until he types it out for you to see... thus he has time to create the guy you desire him to be. Comparing him to your hurtful husband who has no computer screen to hide behind is utterly ridiculous.
Get a grip. You are here honestly considering leaving your marriage behind (...and moving around the children..??) for a man you've never spent 5 minutes side by side with?
Not to mention this man has told you not to leave your husband, yet using the term 'wife' for you and showing possessive behavior "and asks that i tell him what i do each day"..
There are red flags, this you probably know, as you've posted on here. Don't let this infatuation and fantasy convince you he has more to offer you. And don't allow a stranger to be the reason you walk out on your husband - if you no longer want to be in your marriage deal with those issues first and separately from this situation.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes you are probably right,and thanks for the advice but There is a few things you should know though.My previous relationship to my kids dad broke down after almost 11 years,he was a bad man and treated me like a door mat,me and our kids were better off without him.Although thya see him now on a regular basis.
The man im married to now was lovely to begin with,as are all men...!! But after we married something from his past came into my life which totally shocked me and i found it in my heart to forgive him but since then more and more things have come to light,but i have stayed with him,but deep down i know i dont love him because of all the lies and deceipt.
But yet again im stuck in a marriage that i dont really want to be in,but im here because of the kids,although their not his!!
Many times ive thought about telling him to leave but i cant,and thats the hard part.
The guy ive met online from Turkey might be all the things you said but he listens to me,he cares and as far as im aware he is honest.
As i said before i tried to forget him,i told him i didnt want anymore contact but he didnt give up on me and here i am now in a situation,which isnt good,but feels good when we chat.
My head is all over the place at the moment,but 1 thing i do know is....IM NOT HAPPY,i havent been for some years but the turkish guy has made me realise it more so!!
Thanks for any advice xx
...............................
|
