A
male
age
26-29,
*iker15
writes:So there's this girl that's pretty much my bestest friend. The fun we can have together is un-freaking believable, and I love her to death. A little while back we were kinda poking at the idea of being a little more than friends. She admitted to me that she had had a crush on me for a long while and I fancied her as well. But that never worked out because she's *incredibly* shy.About a month ago, after she decided to be just friends. I was upset (Quite a bit.) but I just decided the best thing to do was to pursue another girl and get my mind off this one. The girl I chose is one that has beef with girl #1.Long story short, I inadvertantly and most definitely, UNintentionally pissed off, and upset girl 1. She thought I was trying to make her jealous or something.. (Girl 2 and I never did anything, for the record.)Well just recently, the hurt feelings just kinda dissipated and we both realized we're awesome friends and it's stupid to NOT be friends .I figured that my little "crush" was just that, a crush. And that a month of being angry at eachother wouldve made those feelings disappear as well..We started to hangout again, and it came rushing back. Same way I felt before. I'd have trouble dating any other girl JUST because I feel so strongly towards her..I don't know what to do, it's torture!
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female
reader, tortum +, writes (20 January 2012):
I have been in a similar situation and honestly, the best thing you can do is push your feelings away and ignore them. This probably wasn't what you were hoping hear, but you can't make someone like you. It seems that the two of you have a really nice friendship and that's not worth ruining. At some point down the road, she may decide she wants to pursue a relationship, but until then, I suggest you push those feelings aside and just try to be her friend :)
A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (20 January 2012):
Been there many times myself. You're stuck in the "friends zone" when you weren't at the beginning.
I think you have one of 3 choices. 1. Suck it up and stay friends. Eventually, it'll get better as time passes and you'll find it's just easier to be around her.
2. Leave being with her and her friendship for a while until you feel better. Maybe you'll have time to find another girl or crush, and it will become easier for you. Even if you don't, time away will help you heal. If you can't do #1, then it's time for some time off.
3. She's told you she's a shy girl, so that means she needs you to after her, and not just hope you'll get together. Get her (but don't push it) to do some things with you where you take the lead and you're the decision maker. Then tell her how you feel. This doesn't have a great chance to work out, but then you can say at least you tried. Then do #2 and then it'll be easier to be friends again.
Sometime life and love is about timing. Maybe it's time now maybe it's not. I had a crush on a girl at 12 and got her when I was 18. There's always hope. Good luck.
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