A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am eldest daughter in my family yet my parents treat me like trash. in past i had affair with a guy who i broke up with as he made my life miserable, making me go through worst periods of my life, he cheated me despite the fact that i loved him a lot. I went into depression after him but i was all alone. Now, I feel myself I am useless and worthless. Though I am educated and I am competent but loosing myself from within, due to everyones behavior.Telling this here cause my parents hated him and maybe he is the reason they hate me.Its been more then 3 years since i broke up with him still neither i am allowed to go anywhere i want, i don't get anything which i want and i am always ignored and i am made to feel as if my life is ended. I have no right to do anything. My mum she constantly just needs some thing to start scolding me or taunt at me and she do so 24/7. If I go and talk to her she makes an angry face and ignores as if she don't want to hear and it's now for each and everything.I stay home with a feeling that i am locked in a jail. My dad he ignores me as well when he want me to do something for him or help him he talks to me otherwise if i want anything or i try talking he just turns on t.v and he gives a damn about me. My siblings do extra things which are not important in life and I am made to quit important things cause my parents don't support me. What should i do?Also to mention my sister is my mums favorite she gets all she wants and have constant support off my mum even on wrong things, she know she have a mum whom she can depend on if anything goes wrong but i don't and I feel so alone. Can anyone suggest what should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fender  +, writes (13 November 2012):
From what i've read there are two major issues in your life but they both effecting the same way. A = Guy and B= Family.
Issues A= the guy actions maybe questioned, the fact is you also believe you loved him. Meaning your much have really cared for the guys. Those feeling don't go over night. It sometime takes years, even you are over it doesn't will stop thinking about him or the situations time to time, or stop feeling that bitter sweet sting every time do. It put in a negative space.
Issues B= I completely understand your family situations, for i too come from a very unsupportive family. Both my folks dont really approve of some my life choice. i;ve don't really fall under the good traditional asian girl stereotype way. Just like your folk mine did play favorites with my sis[was was more traditional] they also push me away unless need something, or want to start a fight. I had to do things on my own also, with me we just dont have time or the money. I had to do things on my own. It doable but very lonesome, and very hurtful.Which only add to the negativity around you.
Surround by all this negative it bound to rub off on you. In end are thinking it and also believe it. From what i remember it not a nice to be. .You are beautiful, strong and very brave person. You took risk and yea you did fall but your gonna get try again. Dealing with that take lot patience and inner strength. You get yourself away from all negativity.
Surround yourself much more positivity environment, move out, or if your like me and $ is an issues. Go out to with good friends/ youth group [try youth center]and find a space that outside your home. I started volunteering best thing i ever did. I still need to get out this house of negativity, that get away helps make living home bearable.
i believe when i move out i will have a better relationship with my family i think the same with yours. Our folks dont realize how they miss us till were actually gone. And they will regret their action forcing them to act nicer when we around.
You dont need them to approve of you. You need to approve of yourself and who are. My folks know the only reason im staying cos $ if not for that chance i prob will not speak to them, they starting realize they could lose me, show them what their gonna miss. Be the person who you meant to be, person u are. Not what they want or control.
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