A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, after a year of being with her as great friends, I finally confessed my feeling. She didn't feel the same. The friendship didn't last. Only a week after our friendship ended, I see her with another guy at school. They both are always in each other's arms and smiling and giggling, etc. I don't actively seek out this sort of activity. I try to ignore her presence but every now and again, I will see her directly in my path, with her new boyfriend. They seem happy. Every time I see it, my heart sinks and I feel a heavy weight on my chest. I try my best to hide it and no one would guess it was bothering me. I honestly wish them both luck and fortune, and no I'm not being sarcastic. I really do hope they're the ones for each other. I'm not one to try and interfere with someone's real object of affection.I just wish I didn't feel so broken when I see them together. It's so much harder to move on when I see them five days a week, every week at school. Any advise on how to get past this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2014): Don't worry, it will pass. You'll get used to her being with other people. Your feelings are hurt, and you're just a little embarrassed that she knows how you really feel.
You'll come around, and you will meet someone else who feels the same for you; as you feel for her. It's always a little risky trying to change friendship to a romance; when the girl has always been just a friend. This is a learning experience.
I'm glad you're not feeling negatively towards her for it.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (28 May 2014):
 The irony of your submittal is this: IF you genuinely LOVE this girl.... then you will be happy, for her, that she has found herself a guy who SHE believes is best for her.... and she wants to spend her time and attentions toward him....
Doesn't THAT suck????? Yes, it does.... BUT it's all you have, for now.... and so you have to reconcile (the rest of your life, maybe) that YOU fell in love with her.... but SHE didn't feel the same way about you....
Focus on yourself, your life, your schooling (I note your age at 18-21)..... You've really just "begun" your life.
AND, if your life is going to go along as a delightful romantic story, she's going to be UNsatisfied with her man.... THEN come running back in to your arms.... and you and she will make a delightful life together. It's not a sure-bet.... but it will keep you sane if you believe this...
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (28 May 2014):
You should remember that you can't lose what you never had. This girl was a friend who you had a crush on, not a girl who broke your heart.
Also, you may feel bad about being rejected, but you weren't rejected because there's something wrong with you, you guys just weren't a good match. That will happen plenty of times and the trick is to remember that for every break up or rejection you are one step closer to finding someone who's right for you. Luckily there are a lot of women in the world.
One last thing. Try and learn a lesson here. It's hard to know exactly what happened but I'm guessing that the nice guy routine is what ruined it. More often than not, being nice and hoping to win a women's heart just doesn't work. You become friend zoned.
If you really like a girl you need to be brave and ask her out right away.
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A
male
reader, wise-guy +, writes (28 May 2014):
I feel your pain man! Nothing worse than loving someone who openly doesn't love you. I've been there, I doubt there isn't a single person out there who hasn't had their hearts ripped out by the dreaded friend zone, especially when the friendship diminishes. So, the girl you love seems to have moved on and there's you still feeling those same feelings as before... It's hard to say but if you really did love this girl there's no easy or quick fix her.if it's any consolation I'm going through a similar thing, but this girl really wants me in her life - which us just as hard to deal with! Might sound dumb and embarrassing but have you considered signing up to a free dating site? Just for fun to chat to new girls. If you're not ready for that right now the only thing you can do is wait - and try your best not to come into contact with her. Sorry to hear about your crappy situation buddy.
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