A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel so alone! I've been with my bf for just one year and we're quite happy. Lately though we've quarreled more and more. Nothing too serious though, and he's always very sad afterwards and we make up quick. Anyways, this quarreling is making me nervous. We've just moved, and I don't have any friends her except his friends and family. My own family I have been quarreling with ever since I got my bf since they don't really aprove of him. They've also mentioned that they don't think he has been good for me and that I've changed as a person since I've met him. It's making me very sad that they say so because I think that staying togheter as a family is most important. Also I'm afraid that what they say can be true. But I'm also very happy with my bf. Should I stop listening to my family since they are hurting me? And what would then happen if I and my bf break up and my family won't accept me back? Then I'd be all alone... I don't really dare risking everything on my bf because maybe we won't stay togheter, but I can't keep peace between my family and me as long as I'm living with my bf.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 It is your happiness. You need to do what is right . Nobody knows your heart better except yourself.
Family will always be a family no matter what happens. It is like water, you cannot chop them and separate them.
I rather be happy and others sad than me sad and others happy .In time , they will accept your b/f .
Do not let your imaginations run wild.
You are matured enough to choose the life that you want. No one can decide for you .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): oh hunny.. I usually never reply to these things but your situation is identical to the one ive experienced, I can tell you what has happened me because I know exactly how you feel!! First of all I know its impossible to not worry but the best advise I have for you is to keep doing what you need to do to take care of YOURSELF first and foremost. I am going through the same thing and me and my bf (of 4 years) and we are finally broken up, my family did not like him (for all 4 years) and i am finally giving up on the whole thing. That means all family functions and frineds over he was never around, we started off on a bad note and it never go better in my family eyes, he was always that "loser guy" I can't be mad at my family though its my fault I thought it could work but i don't think so we come from different lifestyles and background and I need to be stimulated on various levels and I think he likes me because the sex is good but that's not all it is you will learn that. I make a PROS and CONS list and sit with it and analyze it, because it is really a painful process and once you loose yourself its hard to get back,( I remember when that happened to me, the loss of myself with my first bad boyfriend, which leaked over to the one i just broke up with) SO i've had 2 crappy boyfriends that I sacrificed myself and my family relationships for. If you aren;t head over heels wanting to marry this guy, you should really take a long hard look at the pros and cons, just a suggestion, hope you get this and it helps
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A
male
reader, baddogbj +, writes (26 March 2010):
 When your boyfriend is nothing more than an ex-boyfriend or even an ex-husband, your family will still be your family, explain to them how you feel but don't push them away.
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (26 March 2010):
 you need to explain to your family that although you love them you love him too and there not necessarily going to approve of everyone you choose to date and if he is not your right for you, you will realise in the end and you dont like the arguments you want them to try and accept him for your sake
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): While presently with your b/f, try not to make any decisions between him and yourself based on anyone else's opinions, including your family's. You're late twenties in age so you have to remind your family of that, and that they can't be choosing your life for you. They'll have to accept who you accept as a partner, unless you get rid of him on your own. The best thing to do is to avoid arguments and don't talk to them when they start problems with you. I know it's hard to do because they're your family, but it must be done if you love your b/f. After all, you could also possibly throw away a lifelong partner or husband.. It also depends on how much you love your partner..if he feels like he's the one, and you are VERY sure of it, and he's never harmed or hurt you to the point where you feel you should ditch him, then keep him. Parents and family can be very manipulating when it comes to who you choose to be with, so be careful not to get brainwashed into just thinking or feeling how they do about your b/f. Stick with your own gut feeling, and go by that. If you are extremely close to your family and you are so afraid of losing them, you'll have to break it down to a choice between keeping your b/f for possibly the rest of your life and possibly losing your family in the process, or losing your b/f and keeping a family who doesn't trust your decisions and respect your relationship choices.
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A
female
reader, YourDestiny11  +, writes (26 March 2010):
 That is ridiculous. family can usually tell though if uve changed and it does seem like they just care about u and want what is best for u. U need to tell them that u are happy with ur bf and they need 2 learn to except that and they will. dnt however worry about being alone cuz ur family most likely will always b there for u. try 2 get ur family and bf 2gether more so they can warm up 2 him and hopefully see hes a nice guy and u care about eachother. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Joeyxxox +, writes (26 March 2010):
 Have you spoken to your family about it? if not you should, why do they not like him? maybe they took something he said/did the wrong way and you need to set them straight.
Or maybe you should try and see if they will get to know him, if they wont you need to tell them what you're feeling and hopefully they will see he makes you happy and accept it.
In the meantime you should try and go out and meet new people, start a new hobbie maybe? Try and start settling in :)
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