| A
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I recently found out my ex wife is dating. We were separated for a year and the divorce was just finalized. It was amicable and mutual.I've been working on returning to a sense of myself, healing and planning for the future. I thought I had moved on, but the thought of her with another man has been messing with me. I couldn't bear to see her in public with anyone else, especially if my kids are with them. It would be like my whole life walked by me in the other direction.I still have feelings for her. I did not want the divorce, but she wanted to move on and start a new chapter.How do I get over this? I dont want a rebound girlfriend, but I am wondering if this will be the only way to move on. I feel like I cant do it alone.
View related questions:
divorce, ex-wife, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): We have shared custody. She is a good Mom, and I feel dating is a natural progression of things. She is not bad or at fault here. In fact, I kinda had the wandering eye late in our marriage. But I am not ready to date. I'm just affected by her with other men when she's been my girl for so many years.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. It is SO difficult to find out your ex is dating someone new, even if YOU were the one to end the relationship! So the fact that she was the one who initiated the divorce must make this exceptionally hard. Have you met the man she is dating? Do you know anything about him? Have your kids talked to you about him? As difficult as this sounds, sometimes developing an amicable relationship with the new person can really help YOU to move on. It CAN give you sort of a sense of peace. If you find out he is a cool guy, and treats your kids well, and is a likable person. I hate to say it but finding a rebound girl does sound like a good idea. It isn't a permanent solution, but for the time being it will help distract you from the fact that your ex has moved on. Just find someone to have fun with. It will give you a self-esteem boost to know that you are desirable to other women. And it might even make your ex feel a bit jealous (which is never a bad thing, he he ;-) Just make sure the new girl knows you just got out of a marriage, and you aren't ready for any serious commitment right now, so you don't give her any false expectations.
...............................
A
male
reader, harpreet928  +, writes (28 January 2011):
to be very honest and my personal comment on your question
women such as your ex - wife should never get custody of kids at all.
they don't have heart to beat for family.
one heart is beating for selfish motives only.
don't mind but it is true fact.
and feel sorry for you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): I am so sorry that you are going through this. I too did not want a divorce but my husband did. When he remarried I actually vomited so I know where you are coming from. It is true time is s great healer and to get you through this you need to look after yourself and put yourself first. Get fit and do what you like to do. As soon as you find a new girlfriend you will no longer be bothered by what your ex wife is doing and I promise you she will then not even be of interest to you.
After you find out each day gets easier and it really does!
...............................
A
female
reader, HC  +, writes (28 January 2011):
I am afraid it is a matter of that old thing called time. I know that it doesn't feel like it at the moment but it will get easier. I don't think a new girlfriend is what you need at the moment, continue what you were doing, before this happened, you will get through and come out the other side.
...............................
A
female
reader, Blonde68 +, writes (28 January 2011):
 Sorry to hear you are feeling such pain.
However, what you are experiencing is completely natural and time is the only thing that will get you through this.
You are quite right, perhaps you aren't ready to meet someone to start a relationship with yet. But there is nothing stopping you finding yourself a new friend/s... someone whom perhaps is going through something similar. There are plenty of sites that you could join, and chat to other people who are experiencing the same; join a singles group with a hobby interest connected to it. This will help you realise that what you are experiencing is normal, and will also help you move forward.
Good luck, and hang in there.... it does get better believe me!
...............................
|
