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female
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anonymous
writes: why is it that he wanted to be friends after the breakup but he says that he's still uncomforable around me?We had a perfect relationship but he wanted to end it cuz he just wanted to be friends for right now.I mean i want to ask him to hangout sometime "just as a friend" but im scared cuz im afaird that hes going to reject me or make up some kind of lame excuse.I dont want to be pushy but i know that hes not going to make the first move on this issue.Im going to stand back for awhile but how long should i wait to ask him to hangout?We been broking up for about a month and a half now.I see him at least once a weeek on the weekends.We hug and talk just like we use to but i asked him one time out of the blue cuz i was getting the impressing that he was uncomforable around me and i asked him if he was and he said yea a bit.I dont know why i mean im a great friendly person and im really laid back and everything.Could it be the way he ended it that is making him uncomforable and the fact that im showing that im ok and happy after what happend......(but really im not happy i just act like i am around him) I can tell hes not doing ok cuz you can just tell by looking at him.I mean we were bestfriends since 8th grade. We have had feelings for each other ever since. Now we are both 20 and we decided that we be bf and gf but it only lasted 3 months and he was the one to tell me that he loved me and that he couldnt see his life with out me.Im now afaird that its never going to be right between us again. I dont regret taking our friedship to the next level like we did. Im just afaird of losing him out of my life. He is a great person and was a great lover but i dont know how to handle this now. I love this man with all my heart. And i know that now we are "friends" i cant have nothing more then that but i would like to keep it at friends basic for right now i just dont know how to ask him to hangout with out him feeling like i want more.If anything was to happen between us romantically again it would have to be on his terms not mine cuz i wont and will not make first moves on him. I never have either. He was always the first to make the moves on me.I just need advice or something. Please help!
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female
reader, accused  +, writes (6 December 2006):
 Let me just say that I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. My BF of 2yrs now, was at one time my best friend (5yrs) to be truthful! and when I say best I mean best friend he would call me about his dates, tell me about whom he had met..and I would him... One day out of the blue everything changed! Neither of knew how we ended up at that point but we took the challenge. So to start "things will never be the same"... Once you cross that line over the friendship bridge, you've got what we call "FEELINGS!" its one thing to have a (FRIEND FEELING) but its a whole new game with the "LOVER FEELING" and once you get that first taste your GONE! (lol) Let me ask you, Do you feel that you've acted any different toward him? Do you two still do the same things you did when you were in "JUST FRIENDS" mode? I know that with my BF, he felt that things changed & they were not like they use to be. well OF COURSE THINGS CHANGE! & there was a time when he did tell me that he felt a little uncomfortable about us being together. We choose to stick with it and work thru it, but it wasn't easy. I felt that we had to start all over and make a new game plan, even though we were best friends, I had to get to know him in a whole new light. So maybe you should try talking to him, and just tell him how you feel and try to get his side of the story and see why he wanted to be BF & GF then changed his mind. In the end only two things can happen (it'll work) or (it won't)... I hope that I have helped you in some way, Feel free to send me a email and I will help you the best I can GOOD LUCK....
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