A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i started seeing someone gradually for only 8 weeks, at first i really did genuinely like him and maybe shouldnt of rushed into things as quick as we did... but we did and within 4 or 5 weeks he started addressing me as his girlfriend which was sweet, after 8 or 9 weeks it started getting a bit much as i found him calling me 2 to 3 times a day, repeating his story over and over i was speaking to him that often, being very insecure and coming out with throw off comments which made me think twice about him, i ended it after a argument about me not seeing him one weekend and said it was too much too soon, he said he wanted to take things slow at the begining and i agreed coming out of a long relationship myself but really i was looking for snail pace.... anyway the other day he text me asking to be ''friends with benefits'', i can assure you he got a reply something along the lines of ''its not really for me sorry and i arent dial a shag'' he apolagised if he offended me and said it would be a good idea as i wanted my own space and life and he wanted that too but he had no intentions of going with anyone else.... which made me question wouldnt this mean we were back together? bizarre behaviour though... hes not texted me since funny enough apart from once with a day to day comment. am i best not contacting this guy again until he is fully over it or is he genuinely just being a jerk and not understanding me at all? i dont want a dependant relationship... ive had too many of them but in the same respect i dont want a fling with someone i had a short relationship with on a regular basis? why is he asking this?
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (7 November 2012):
 I think it sounds like he is desperate to keep you in his life one way or another, so if you cant be his girlfriend then he thinks FWB is the next best thing. I bet he also thinks that if you stay as FWB for a while then eventually you will fall for him and want to be his girlfriend again.
I would politely tell him that you think he is a great guy but this whole experience has made you realise that you need time alone and you dont want any sort of relationship in your life, FWB or otherwise. Wish him the best and leave it at that.
Dont try and be friends, dont give him any ounce of hope - just tell him you dont want to be involved with him at all and you need time alone without any men in your life. That should give him the messsage!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 November 2012):
 Personally, I think he doesn't get you (or maybe women in general).
I think he is asking because he doesn't like to be alone and he rather have a FWB situation then no situation at all.
I think you did the right thing saying no and honestly I would forget his number and move on.
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