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female
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*ngelbbabe7490
writes: Latley ive been confused.. i just started getting regrets with my last relationship. he texted me a few weeks ago saying that it has been an amazing 5 months that we have been going out and that we should do something to celebrate.. this really confused me because i cannot recall him ever making us official.. i asked him if we had a set date and he said that he can't remember. he started asking me personal questions like "what are my fantasies in life?" i didn't know what he meant by this and when i asked him if he meant goals he replied "no.. your dreams". he continued on with his fantasies and said that his fantasy was to live somewhere on the block islands with a jack russel named skip and his dream girl.. and soon after he told me that he had already found that dream girl. he was talking about me! part of me felt like this was nice of him to say.. but the other part of me started separating myself from him. i realized that my feelings for him where not as strong and that i could not imagine myself years from now with him. i just started thinking about colleges and for me to think past that was almost out of the question. i ended up telling him that my goal in life is to live by each and everyday and within those days they will help me build into my future.. but for now my goal in life was to go to a good college and get an education. The night before i went on vacation he kissed me good bye.. I felt as if i were obligated to kiss him and that it was just the right thing to do. I recently came home from florida. a huge part of me loved the break i had from him and a small part of me missed him. i seeked advice from my friends and they told me that his feelings seemed to be much stronger than mine for him. When i got home i decided to talk to him about our relationship. i told him that i felt that it was unfair to continue a relationship if our feelings were not equal. i told him that it is hard for me to imagine myself 20 years from now and that i am afraid of a serious relationship. i could understand his way of thinking because he is out of highschool and ready to settle down. we talked in person for about 45 minutes. he took it much better than i had expected and was very understanding. he told me that he will do anything it takes for me to be happy and if it's a break from him that will make me happy then he will do it as long as he gets to see my beautiful smile... i kept a positvie attitude and when he asked me if we were completly over i explained to him that only time could tell and that what is meant to be will find a way.Yesterday he came over my house with a huge wrapped present.. he told me not to look until christmas and i agreed with him. when he left my little sister had opened it and it was a cute build a bear with a heart necklace on it! no matter what i will still have feelings for him but i want to enjoy the rest of my high school experience single. He spent 2 hours at dunkin donuts with my friends talking to them about me and told them that he is going to give me my space but he can't help but wait for me.. and that his feelings for me are going to continue. i feel that he deserves someone who can give their 100% and i know that it's not me. I need as much advice as I can!! so please if you have an input let me know!!
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 I think you should distance yourself, as his feelings are too strong to have a true friendship at this stage. In a couple of months when his feelings have calmed down and he's had time to accept it's truly over, then you can see if there's a friendship worth pursuing.
Just don't let yourself feel guilty, it's hard upsetting someone I know, but you can't let that get in the way of your own happiness.
A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 he told me that he will do anything it takes for me to be happy and if it's a break from him that will make me happy then he will do it as long as he gets to see my beautiful smile... i kept a positvie attitude and when he asked me if we were completly over i explained to him that only time could tell and that what is meant to be will find a way.
So.. he is quite fair and balanced in his attitude, and you have not been courageous enough to tell him it is over, Dont you think? While you really do not have the same feelings towards him, as he has, you were not clear enough to him and to yourself.
You have the set this poor guy free and don't play with him please.
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A
female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (15 December 2007):
angelbbabe7490 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for your input.. because now you just reasured me that i did do the right thing.. part of me does feel bad for him.. and now i feel obligated to get him a gift as well.. do you think continuing the friendship is the right thing to do? or should i just put him into my past?
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (15 December 2007):
It seems like he is guilt tripping you into getting back with him. By buying you presents etc, you don't owe him anything back. You seem bery reluctant about the relationsip, I would give this one a miss and move on. You erally want to be in a relationship where your feelings are red hot, not luke warm.
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