| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am still in love with my ex boyfriend who would take me back in a second, but when I am with him he often talks to me badly, tries to control everything I do and often makes me cry. I know he loves me alot but I do not know if it is worth putting up with the bad times. I'm scared I will never love anyone as much as him. Any advise?
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2006): Please don't get back together with this man - my Mum married a very controlling man and he has done his best to make hers and my life an utter misery for many years. So, from my perspective, I would never, ever get involved with a control freak who makes me cry. Please don't do it. I can't see there being a happy ever after.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 January 2006):
 Why do you feel you love someone who treats you so badly? Do you think there's something wrong with you that no one else would "care" as much as he does?
The truth of the matter is that this guy *likes* to control you and make you cry. Go back to him and I promise you'll get more of the same. His doing so makes you dependant on him, because your self esteem is in tatters, and because it makes you think that couldn't ever "love anyone as much as him" -- because he has you believing you're worthless to anyone else.
As long as you think you're not good enough for anyone else, he'll have you and "take you back in a second", so he can feel like a king by ordering you around. He doesn't seem to notice or care that he's making you miserable.
PLEASE don't go back to the lousy, controlling boyfriend. I promise you'll get over the separation anxiety (that's what you're feeling - you're not used to being on your own) and later on, when you meet a guy who loves you and wants you without making you dependant on him, you'll wonder why you wasted so much time and energy with your ex.
Give yourself a chance. Set yourself a reasonable limit, like a couple of months without him. Then when the limit's up, really THINK about how you feel, how your life is, and whether you want to go back to being controlled and crying and unhappy, just so that *anyone* will be your boyfriend. I think you'll choose wisely not to go back. And if you do, it'll be because you've given yourself the time and space to decide that you really want to.
Chin up!
...............................
A
female
reader, nogames +, writes (11 January 2006):
I agree in part with Neo. If he loves you and really wants to get back with you, he needs to be made aware of how he makes you feel (controlled and sad/crying) and then, if you want, given the opportunity to learn from this. If he loves you, he will not be so controlling and realise that this upsets you. If he loves you, he doesn't want to make you upset.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (11 January 2006):
 Decent people in love can be blinded. You may love him but does he make you happy? It seems to me the answer is no. Thus the answer to the question is no.
...............................
A
male
reader, Neo +, writes (10 January 2006):
If he loved you he wouldn't be controlling. You probably shouldn't go back with him right away, you should rather take time away and let him think about some stuff but don't give in because that will just give him more control or make him think that he has more control.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (10 January 2006):
Who, in their right mind wants to get back with a control freak who makes them cry and feel undermined.
Avoid getting back and look for someone who will love and cherish you and make you feel important. You know it makes sense.
...............................
A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (10 January 2006):
Who, in their right mind wants to get back with a control freak who makes them cry and feel undermined.Avoid getting back and look for someone who will love and cherish you and make you feel important. You know it makes sense.
...............................
A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (10 January 2006):
 A good man would not make a woman cry. Period. Nobody is worth your tears. You did not give one good reason why you should go back to him. There is your answer.
...............................
A
female
reader, shania +, writes (10 January 2006):
 This guy is nothing more then a control freak,he likes to make you cry then split up with you.Plus you start running back to him and its the same old cycle once again,after awhile you will end up with no self esteem,no confidence no nothing.He doesnt love you,how can he? This man has no respect for you,now i know you love him and thats why you cant make the complete break but you must for your whole well being.Be strong and walk away.
...............................
A
female
reader, lizabeth +, writes (10 January 2006):
if you go back to this guy you will gain no confidence! you'll probably lose confidence instead. you'll love again trust! life's too short to go through hating it. you say he tries to control you and often makes you cry, anybody that makes you cry and talks to you like that isn't worth ruining your life. even if you try the relationship out again and it doesn't work out, you'll be thinking 'now that was a big chunk of my life wasted that i'll never get back.' i couldn't do that. he may love you but you must ask yourself are you honestly in love with him? would i be happy with him again? the point of life is to be happy, and if you think you can change a man, its never been done. my advice, don't do it, he sounds obsessive and untrusting and manipulative. look 4 mr. right i assure you hes out there!
...............................
|
