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female
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anonymous
writes: Two years ago I fell for someone I shouldn't have, he was an old friend of our family and at least 25 years older than me. We acknowledged that there was feelings on both sides and tried to act as normal as possible around others. Eventually we tried going out and it was fantastic I felt so comfortable with him and so safe. But then the bubbe burst. Friends and family start to notice things and were far from approving of anything every happening between us. I didn't mind what they said but I didn't want it to look bad for him. He's a wonderful guy with an important career and I just didn't want to take the risk in ruining that, so I ended it. I moved on, I still meet him and we get along great. Over the years I met someone else, he is the same age as me we work in the same fields, we just fit together so well and I love him so much. About a week ago he asked me to marry him but first he wanted to ask my father, so he did. While he was asking the family friend was there and heard it. He asked me to meet up with him and I did. I got the shock of my life when he told me he was still in love with me and begged me not to get married, to try again with him. I can't deny that I'm still in love with him, but what do I do? A future with my family hating me for marry him or one with me wondering would it have worked. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, claire_x100 +, writes (18 September 2006):
 Well you dont want to live wondering your whole life, but then again you dont want to go through what you already been through with your family. This is tough but he hasnt made a effort telling how he felt about you until knowing you were getting married, also you was able to move on. Maybe because it didnt last your still wondering but then you have this terrific bloke who has just asked you to marry him. Lottiekins is right ask yourself if he wasnt there would you have hesitated about marrying your bloke, and would you tell the family friend that you were. Good Luck.
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female
reader, pica +, writes (8 September 2006):
People will tell you an age gap doesn't matter. Well,I know a woman in her late 40s with a husband in his 70s who has been in a nursing home for a few years now. The kids were 9 and 12 when he became ill. She really struggles with visiting him and looking after them. You have a chance with someone your own age, I'd say go for it. Why has your older man waited all this time to re-appear? I say if he really cared about you and your future, he'd realise that he has much less to offer you and should have just given the pair of you his blessing.
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female
reader, lottiekins +, writes (7 September 2006):
Im currently in the same situation as you and lets just say its one of the hardest decisions of your life.
but one thing you have to put in perspective is your future.
This man is 25 years older than you, your future days with him are limited and as time goes by your interets will be vrey different.
You say you love him but do you really you broke it off with him to keep his respect but are you sure there wasnt a part of you that was happy t break it off.
one great thing about your new man is that you do not have to lie about him, your family like him and your future with him could consequently be fantastic and long.
you need to weigh out the pro's and con's of each man and reach your decision.
just one more thing to think about.. if he hadnt of found out via family would you of told him? theres your answer
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