A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:3 years ago now i fell totally head over heels for a guy i met. We instantly clicked and had a lot of positive energy to the poitn where at times we we're inseperable. We had the same hobbies, interests and goals in life and i was smitten. After the relationship meeting the 2 year mark without ANY signs of him being unhappy.. he ended the relationship via a social networking sight and made hardly ANY contact as he went travelling. Only to return and get another girlfriend. I was totally heartbroken.. not only had i lost my boyfriend but also my BEST friend. we did everything together and from doing this to being nothing.. was horrible.So i remained single for a year until 3 months ago i met a guy who idolised me. Treats me like a princess.. but is total opposite in character to me.Then.. my ex started to make small amounts of contact with me which has thrown me completly. I am now with my new boyfriend but I still think about my ex all the time. I dream about him quite often and he makes my stomach tie in knots when i think about or see him in person or on the net.I have never felt the way I felt about him for any other guy. not even my current boyfriend :( And although i am happy with my bf at the moment i am pretty sure if my ex appeared tomorrow and said.. lets get back together I would without hesitating.Now my ex is going on a group holiday to which i have also been invited too, but turns out it will be all couples. Anyone have any suggestions about getting rid of this feeling or whether i should end things with my boyfriend??I this wondering about lost loves normal for people in a relationship. someone please help me, i am going out of my mind!
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 I feel you will have to deeply search from within to find this answer. I feel you already now the answer, but you're seeking validation that what you may be feeling deep inside is true. But, if it is true to you, would anything anyone says here change what you are already aware of? It is understandable that you don't want to hurt your current boyfriend. He's been idolizing you (which is not love) and where would his benefit be from your direction, when you think about your ex daily and have these dreams about him? Isn't that, in a way, one sided where you receive but aren't returning, because your heart belongs to someone else?
As I said, I won't try to advise you either way, but I did want to give a few questions for you to think about in making your decision. I hope this helps, take care.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2010): Get some counseling help.
You want a guy back who dumped you in a disrespectful manner, left, and got another woman (not you) as soon as he got back in town.
You see the problem?
He treated you with disrespect...if you were such soul mates, he would not have done that.
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A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (20 October 2010):
I've been there. What I saw in myself and others who have shared similar stories is that, when you aren't over someone, trying to date someone else only ends up hurting them.
Separate and be single for now. Don't run after your ex either. Move your mental focus away from getting the right guy, or even a guy at all, and think about other things. Get a new hobby. Do something different. Once you work yourself through your original emotional damage and look at the situation without bias, you will know what is right.
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