A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex tried to use me,i hadnt heard from him for 4 years,but 3 weeks ago i had a message from him,i had a coffee with him,then he trys it on,i refused and said its best to stay friends,i spoke to him a few days ago through email and asked him what all of this was about,he said sex,i couldnt believe he could just say that,i went mad and told him a few home truths,dont think he liked it and has blocked me now.i think he is one of these people who cant take being told off for anything.his whole life he has been doing this using women and i fell for it in the past.He said he likes women too much,he is one big user.i feel really hurt through this and feel like hurting him and feel very angry also angry with myself for letting this happen,ive tried to stay busy buts its not working.i cant get it out of my mind.He doesnt have any respect for women i know this,he has made me to hate men. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): I had an ex like this, and he would contact me,we'd meet up, and then he'd try it on. Ask me if I wanted to go back to a hotel with him, things like that. When I would say no, he would get all sulky and moody, and then disappear. I felt so angry. What a nerve!
I eventually cut him off completely. But I am actually now grateful for what happened, because it meant I got to know exactly what he is really like. And from then on, I completely ignored him and lost contact with him. And I mean it for good this time.
So I can understand your anger. But at least now you know what kind of man he is, and you know not to bother with him again in the future. If he has done this after so many years, it seems unlikely he is going to change. So now you know for sure you can wash your hands of him.
You say you feel angry with yourself for letting it happen, but I think you should be proud of yourself! I'm proud of you! I'm proud of how you stood up for yourself and told him no. I'm proud of how you contacted him and asked him to explain himself. I think you handled it really well, and you should too. You showed him that he cannot get his way with any woman he wants. You made a stand. I think that is a positive thing.
I think the anger may ease with time, although it is perfectly understandable. In the meantime, try and put it behind you, if you can. He is not worth the energy of your anger. As for the hatred towards men, yes, I can understand that too. But again, I think that once you start to feel calmer about the whole thing, it may ease and you may feel more comfortable with men again.
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 Not all men are like this. He is one of the foolish, one of the shameless. A lot of men respect women and seek nothing but love. NOTHING but love. On this very website there are posts by men complaining that no matter how nice they are, no matter how caring they are, women never seem to see them as more than friends.
People are cruel. Men AND women. I remember one specific post about a man who lost his virginity to a girl at a party only to find himself as the focal point of ridicule. You see, it is not only men who can be cruel but women too. Yes there are soulless people in the world but that does not mean you should bare hatred towards a group in general. Bare no anger and bare no hatred. He tried and failed, nothing lost and nothing gained. He is gone or he SHOULD be gone from your life now and everything is as it should be. Do not hate. Find peace and give peace to everyone around you. If you choose to seek, you shall find a man who loves unconditionally. He will choose to love you with all his heart. You think it a fantasy? A caring man to be some sort of myth? No. There are hundreds of men on this site, here for no other reason than to care for those in need. Complete strangers who ask for nothing in return. Have faith in the world. There are good people out there.
I hope that helps.
...............................
|
