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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: so i recently found out my husband of 8yrs but weve been together 15 talks about our problems 2 a female coworker complaining about things and me. he didn't tell me about her i had 2 play detective,he says she is attracting they are just friends she's just someone 2 talk 2 he couldn't talk 2 me about our problem cause i wouldn't listen. he also said he would stop callin n tell her 2 stop callin but it cont on til i got violent with him now he wants 2 work on us stayin together i don't trust him and don't think i ever will again what should i do how do i get the trust back? hurtingk35
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): my husband is self employed and three years ago he hired a younger (by 20 yrs), single woman to help on his jobs of cleaning our rental units and some painting and carpentry, which does mean that they, most of the time, are alone together in these empty apartments cleaning them up; and a year ago,i found out that he had taken her out to dinner while i was out of town overnight, as i found his restaurant receipt, which hethen said that they are just good friends and that other than working well together, he has never toghtched her, but because he and i had a bit strayned relationship at the time, he could talk to her about things and that she is hisgood friend, and as of today, nov 2010, he still hasher as an employee, and she now lives in one of our apartments, to be on the premisses to be at work at all times there, as she owns no vehicle, and is homeless.we did right away somewhat get our relationship together back on track, and i have been so happy, but i still have terrible jealous arquements with him about what he pays herand what they eat for their lunches and if she rides with him to pick up supplies; he even helps her grown childrenout a bit.he says it is too late to ever get her out of our lifes now as she is dependant on us to help her like this!so as you can see there are so many nightmare type affairsout there, so i feel very sorry for anyone who has a situation such as mine!!it is so hard to walk away from someone you've loved for so many yearsfrom mrs doormat
A
male
reader, bob90  +, writes (12 November 2010):
I've been married seven years and I've done the same thing he has done. It's hard to understand why us men talk to other women about our problems at home. One thing is I would ask him why he is talking to the ladies and not you.has he been distant or spending time away from home of latey?
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A
male
reader, bob90 +, writes (12 November 2010):
I've been married seven years and I've done the same thing he has done. It's hard to understand why us men talk to other women about our problems at home. One thing is I would ask him why he is talking to the ladies and not you.has he been distant or spending time away from home of latey?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 Well first off what exactly did he do wrong here? He never cheated on you did he? He found in this girl a friend someone he could open up to and talk to about his problems. Just like us girls when we have man troubles we turn to our friends, sometimes men need to do this as well, and he obviously just found her to be a good listener and he trusted her with his problems. Am sure he didnt mean to disrespect you in anyway and i think you are giving him a really hard time over this.
Ok as for the phonecalls i understand that you might be feeling a little insecure and jelous. Ask him to maybe cut down on the phone calls, at the end of the day he see's her at work so his evenings should be spent with you and not her ringing him so ask him could he have a word with his friend and ask her not to ring unless it is an emergency.
I think you were in the wrong to be violent with him, hunny violence doesnt solve anything and it is wrong and just not fair on your husband. Do you have an anger problem? If so maybe you could go to anger management you should never be violent to a partner or to anyone for that matter.
Ok so your trust for your husband is gone, you need to work on fixing that first off, its obvious there is a break down of communication in the relationship and you both need to start from the start and work together, the golden rule is to always be honest with each other no matter what, marriage councelling might help if you both cant overcome the issues on your own. goodluck.
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A
female
reader, ruby buttons  +, writes (12 November 2010):
 trust is not an easy thing to be won, he should be talking ot you not another women about his problems, i went through the same thing with my ex and it hurt so much that even when he wasnt doing anything i jum,ped down his neck, what you need ot think is do you love him does he love you and can you put this behind you, he is oviousely finding something in her that he cant find in you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): You have two options here: Be weak or be strong. Being weak would be to avoid the topic with him, accept his pre-cheating nature and brush it under the carpet. Option 2 is to be strong and confront him. Tell him this is absolutely inappropriate behavior. The relationship he is slowly forming with this coworker is like dating without dating. He is feeling her out and she, him. They are building an inappropriate work relationship filled with sexual tension. He is CROSSING every marital possible here. He should NOT be confiding in her. He should NOT be talking disparagingly about his wife (you) to her. He should NOT be spending breaks or lunchs with her and he should CERTAINLY not be talking with her on the phone. This situation is already out of control. It really is cheating in my mind already. Nip it in the BUD! Also, get his phone records...see how often they have talked.
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