A
female
age
30-35,
*orriedGirl1994
writes:Am I over reacting? I don't want to go to much into things but my ex partner abused me. We've been separated a few years now. He still contacts me from time to time.Anyway he contacted me to tell me he's selling up and moving. I thought he may be lying but I've looked into it and he is. I'm freaking out a little over this as I have no idea where he's moving to. I've always tried to avoid where he lives. Now I'm not going to have any idea where he is. I'm trying to be rational about this but he could move anywhere? What if he's moving closer to me? I'm getting quite upset by this as I dread seeing him ever again. Is there anything I can do?
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male
reader, RevMick  +, writes (5 July 2014):
 Hi,
I doubt he is going to move in next door and so you shouldn't be still this worried about him. He isn't in your life anymore and you need to move on.
How is he getting your numbers, ask your friends and family if they are giving it out. If they are ask them to stop.
Otherwise, let it go.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 July 2014):
 Have you ever ASKED him how he got your number? Because either someone in your circle GIVES him your number or you need to have an unregistered phone number.
I understand that it worries you, I would be too.
I suggest you take extra precautions when out and about.
Like WiseOwlE said, LET your family know, friends know. And DO not let him in. DO not open the door if you can see who is outside, if you don't have a peephole, consider getting one installed + a dead bolt. IF he shows up call the police. YOU do NOt owe him to open the door and talk.
If he calls again HANG up. YOU don't OWE him a conversation. BLOCk whatever number called you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2014): It is likely he's asking mutual friends; or older members of your family. Older people often misplace their trust, and release private information unwittingly. He can make it sound like there's a reconciliation or he's an old friend looking you up. They may not know any better than to pass on your phone number. Change your number and give it to only people you know you can trust.
Use law enforcement when you feel helpless and afraid. Even if you yourself are no angel, and may fear they'll drum up things on you. You don't seem to make any sense being so afraid of him; when you know you know how to dial 911.
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A
female
reader, WorriedGirl1994 +, writes (4 July 2014):
WorriedGirl1994 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have done many of these things. I've changed cell numbers, emails,,,,He always seems to find a way to contact me. It's very rare now. But when he contacted me in the early hours of the morning to tell me he was moving I just freaked out. The thought of not knowing where he is scares the life out of me. If he was moving far away I can handle that. But why tell me in the first place other than to get a reaction. I don't communicate with him in anyway. I know it would be stupid to think he could be moving to my neighbourhood, but having no idea where he is moving to really worries me?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2014): Why is he still in contact with you? Why didn't you sever all ties and change your number? Do you know what police are for?
Don't live in fear, seek a restraining-order if you must.
Alert the police of any past history of reported domestic
violence. They'll take you more seriously. Try to speak to a female cop when seeking police protection. Male cops aren't always so sensitive. I don't care if one reads this and doesn't like it. It's your ass you're looking out for.
Alert all your family and friends not to release any information about you to him; and the fact that you are concerned that he could be around. Build-up your defenses before he appears. Find a local hotline for domestic violence; and put it on emergency-dial in your phone.
If he shows up, call the police immediately. Don't allow him in your home.
Don't be paranoid. Take action to protect yourself.
End communication. He may only be telling you he's moving to scare you.
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A
female
reader, lily13524 +, writes (4 July 2014):
 There's two ways to look at this
1) Let him move on with his life and hope you never see him again OR
2) Hire an investigator and you can find out where he is moving to and that way you can avoid him.
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