A
female
age
30-35,
*teena26
writes:Hi guys, you may have read my previous question about my situation with my ex.. complicated as it is! (and I recommend that you read that question first so that this one makes sense!)I made the decision to move out of the house that we lived in and I definitely feel better for that... the thought of having to live like that for any longer would be a nightmare!However, since we have moved out he is still text messaging me explicit things despite being with his new girlfriend still.I know this all has to stop and I'm going to put an end to it but should I tell her about the texts?? I feel as though it's none of my business but I know I would want to know if I was her... to save myself from being made a fool out of.. but I don't just want to look like the crazy jealous ex. What should I do?? Thanks x
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 I would not tell her. People often tends to shoot the messenger , she would probably not believe you, she d'd choose to think that you are just jealous and stirring up trouble.
And anyway , it's none of your business. I am all for sisterhood, but after all you can't fix the life mistakes of every woman you come across. In time, she'll figure out whom she is dealing with.
If these explicit messages bother you and you want to stop them coming, there is a simple solution, which is : changing your phone no.
A
female
reader, Steena26 +, writes (6 January 2011):
Steena26 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys, although it's a bit of a mixed reaction! But I feel mixed emotions about it myself!
"Anonymous"- She is a complete stranger to me, we have mutual friends on Facebook but none of them are particularly close to me, I know of her sister but I wouldn't know how to contact her. I just feel like as a female I should be telling her what's going on but I know exactly how it will look to her and, truth be told, I'm not even sure it would be too far off the mark! :( I'm so unhappy with it all... he's put me in a horrible situation... any more suggestions about what I should do?? x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): Don't bother to tell her. You won't be thanked if you do. You will just look like a bitter ex. And as for you - just ignore the texts, do not respond in any way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010): personally, i would let her know just so that she can find a guy who will respect her enough not to do something like that. if you think she will over-react, i would try to say nicely that you are doing this to help her out and not to sabotage their relationship (though i know it looks like you are trying to do the later). do you know this new gf of his at all or is she a total stranger? do you know any of her friends? i guess the other option is to tell one of her friends about what he is doing and they can decide whether or not they should tell her. sometimes, this kind of news is better relayed through a friend than an ex gf.
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A
female
reader, myfairdiva  +, writes (31 December 2010):
 Steena,
If you really want to move on from him, the best option is to ignore these texts. He soon will figure it out, and hopefully stop.
As for the new girl, she has a different view of him than you, they're starting their relationship when you're ending it, you know all the pros and cons, and she knows more pros than cons... so if you tell her, she probably won't believe you and say that you're trying to talk her out of it to win him back. That can be the case, or not.
It's up to you to tell her, but be prepared for the worst.
All the best,
Cin x
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