A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The first time I posted, my now EX was really distant and pulling away (shes 30, I'm 28). The second time I posted she ended it by stating she didnt feel like she was the type of person who could be in relationship because of some issues in her life (which she stated she is not even sure what they are or why she ends all her relationships). Now, well its been about two months since and I'm stuck, plus she was still wanting me to come by and hang out with her. After much agony, I had to finally tell her (via email) that I truly wanna be her friend but I still view her in a "girlfriend" way so hanging out would be pretty difficult for me. I told her that I want her to be happy, even if it is not with me although I wish it were me and that she needs not to view love, relationships and even marriage to as something to run from because she is too wonderful a person for that. My issue is I am in a CONSTANT BATTLE of having to force myself not to contact her (as much at least) or seem like Im still clingy on to her. One of the main reasons is because I feel like she has already gotten over me (shes been hanging out with her male friends/co-workers). I've gotten the speeches about ignoring her, and not being her doormat, but its not the easy because I genuinely loved this woman and I know she loved me but there's something in her life that causes her to be the one who ends her relationships. I need help because shes always on my mind and somedays I can barely focus...or even eat. I guess I am at a point because I wanna move on BUT I want to be with her. I know I need to move on because like I said she obviously has and well, I guess that kinda hurts too. To feel like you've already been forgotten....or replaced!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): Thanks for your "no pulling any punches" answers. Some things I knew, and others I guess I just needed to hear. I actually do feel a little more positive about the situation.
A
female
reader, DESTINY 23 +, writes (20 October 2009):
 I think you know what you need to do and thats to move on. I wonder what her isssue is in her life and does this have anything to do with you? If she has moved on and is hannging around co-workers then maybe her issue was you..? It doesnt make sense that she wants to break up then be around other men . If thats the case then she wanted to leave the relationship to be with other men. I think you said she loves you so if that is true why wouldnt she work things out with herself rather then hang around other men endless thats her way of therapy.... Not sure but I know this you need to move forward no contact at all so you can heal . I just went through this and I broke up with my guy . I have to say he went out right away bars trips new friends and we never did anything. I dont care any more I started going out to now and I met a lot and I mean a lot of smart , classy , fun , rich men . I think now why did I stay in this relationship with this guy but its done and Im grateful I had the courge to move on. You need to go out and heal your soul and agian move on . Its only hard for about a month then it get easy . Everydays a new day why waste it on a dead relationship. Best of luck
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