A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,well here is my problem, I have been recently seeing my ex..just meeting up in the day time and talking nothing physical. We have both decided to give the relationship another try after 4 months apart as we both never stopped loving or caring for each other. It ended after nothing huge just an argument that really blew up and he said it's over at the heat of the moment and i stormed out and pushed him away when he'd tried to take it back. we were so good together and i really miss him.The problem i have is when we were apart he claimed it was the worst time ever, that he'd been a mess drowned his sorrows failed uni ect. but later he told me he had slept with someone else whilst we had broken up, that he dated her liked her and went off her very quickly. he also said he found it really hard to have sex with someone else. but he still did.i know he hasnt cheated on me and never would but still the thought of him sleeping with someone else really hurts me and breaks my heart.i dont know if i can forgive him? but i know it's silly and i need to forget it for the sake of the relationship and for the sake of my happiness and his.i found it really shocking he slept with someone else because i really couldnt when we were broke up, it felt wrong to think of anyone else like that let alone have sex with them.i just cant get it out of my head.
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female
reader, Lezils  +, writes (22 December 2010):
Hi ther, wow im so happy im not the only one that is going through this, my bf and i broke up and he met another girl,they slept toghether and when she saw him and i were on talking terms again she told him she may be pregnant with his child and she forwarded me all the e mails between her and him.Luckily she wasnt pregnant and she was prob just trying her luck but it tore me to shreads to know that not only did he sleep with her but he built a relationship with her,his family also loved her where is they depsie me and she knew it!! i eventually met her(now pregnant with some other guys child) and i decided to cut all ties with her as it hurt me more to constantly be in contact with her, he whent off her very quickly too and ant stand her.We are now happier than ever but i also always think of it when we are intimate and always get so upset at the thought of everything and its still so raw and im still so hurt and i feel so silly for not being able to let go!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2009): The same happened to me and im still experiencing the pain almost a year later. Its not something you can get over to be honest, but love over comes everything so i am still with him because i love him. i was reading this and totallyagreeing that if i was in his shoes i would have done it if i was really just wanting to have fun and move on because i was so low so i can finally understand his state of mind. Now its time to enjoy your new lease of life together. Do all the things you were never able to before and just think of the poor rebound girl who gave her body to a guy that loved someone else! Its pitiable, feel sorry for her dont be angry. He's yours and no one elses make everyone aware of it :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): This is a heck of a painful position to be in.Try to imagine yourself in his shoes. If you'd ended up feeling some attraction to someone else. They make a move, maybe you don't really feel like it but you think "we're over. My ex is probably already sleeping with other people for all I know. This is someone new and I gotta go on living. Who knows, maybe I'll like this person now." So you don't turn them down when they start talking to you regularly and suggesting doing things. It goes okay, and pretty soon you find yourself having sex with them. But it's not the same and you know it. Now you get back with your ex, and he's wanting to hold this against you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2009): You have to remember that he slept with this girl after you two broke up so what he did after that was entirely up to him as he was just getting on with his life. However, I would be 99% certain that this girl he slept with was a rebound. I, sadly, have been that rebound girl. This guy just led me on basically as it was his ex he was fixated on really. We had sex once, if you can call it that. He was so fixated on his ex that immediately afterwards he was talking about her! I can't tell you how upset about it I was. So, rest easy that your boyfriend probably wanted to move on as people should eventually do after a split, but couldn't because he was still in love with you!
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz  +, writes (12 July 2009):
As you said, it happened when you two were broken up, not when you were together. The breakup hurt and I'm sure you wanted him to hurt the way you did, the way he said he did. But people deal with breakups different ways. Some like to be alone, some have to be with someone else to get their mind off their ex.
I'm sure it's not something you wanted to know, but as you already know its in the past.
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