A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i dated my ex for about 8 months before he broke up with me for reasons that I still don't know. and i didn't push the issue or demand reasons because i figured if he doesn't want to be with me, no amount of begging or tears would change his mind. So i accepted this breakup and moved on. i stopped talking to me, i never call him or text him or check his fb. it's just done to me. but he seems to be going out of his way to avoid me. he changed his number, i'm still his fb friend, but if i sign onto chat, he'll sign off. maybe i'm reading too much into this, but i don't understand why he's trying so hard to distance himself from me.He broke up with me, he wanted this, so why does he still care? I think he still cares since he's trying so hard to avoid me. I've never shown any signs of ever trying to get back in touch with him. i just don't get it
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): He's doing the best and most efficient way of getting over someone. He's just going 'no contact'.
Why do you want to know if he still cares? What difference would that make to you?
OP when you break up with someone it's always best to completely cut them off until you have absolutely no feelings for them anymore. He's doing you and himself a huge favour by doing this. Surely you know how hard it is to get over someone while they're still trying to be your friend, or still trying to get back with you. Just be happy that he's not doing that.
If you need closure or if you have any questions, then just email him. Something tells me though he told you why he was breaking up with you, but you either disagree with why or don't think they're good reasons or maybe you'd like to get back together with him.
Either way, if you want to know something email him, otherwise just do what he's doing and get on with your life. You really don't want to know how bad things can get when an ex pops up again and starts messing with your feelings.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): It sounds like you handled the break up admirably. You have the right attitude. No point in begging or demanding explanations if someone just doesn't want to be with you anymore.
Don't waste another iota of your time trying to analyse his reasons for avoiding you (if that is what he is doing). It doesn't change anything. He might be unaccustomed to someone handling a break up as well as you did. Be thankful that he isn't pestering you, wanting to 'remain friends' while he has a new girlfriend. Things could be worse.
You've got a good deal going for you here.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011): how long ago did you break up? if it was recent, then his efforts to avoid you are probably his way of moving on.
another possibility is that he's got a new girlfriend - maybe that's why he broke up with you so without explanation - and she's making him cut off all contact with you out of her insecurity.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (16 May 2011):
 It sounds to me that when he broke up with you he wanted no further contact. This is how some people do their break ups. I doubt it is because he still has feelings for you. He is probably more worried that you will try to talk to him to get back together.
It's probably best if you just don't pay any attention to him, then you won't have to still worry about him like this. It's sad that some break ups end in the two people now being so distant but in alot of cases it is for the best.
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A
female
reader, cupidus +, writes (16 May 2011):
 If a guy is totally ignoring you, broke off with you, avoiding you at all costs, he is not showing care. How is it that you astute total avoidance=nice caring guy?
Than you say you are totally done and ignoring him to an extent. You seem to want closure, and I think you'll only get it by going over in your mind what could have caused the break up and accept that.
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