A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It's not a question exactly but i need advice. I dont want you all to say that it's up to you and its your decision or alecture on young love n sex cos i know all that :S but....I am 15 in a fortnight and my (bf/ex bf) is 17. We went out for 2 and a half months and i told him i didn't want to sleep with him or anything and he seemed ok with that but then he raped me - took my virginity!! He forced me to do things i didn't want him to do.I finished him straight away!!! He wants me to go back out with him i really want to but am scared he will do it again!! I just want a second opinion or someone elses vies as to wether i should go bak out with him. i do love him. thanx everyone xxxxx Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): He raped you. I would seriously call the cops or something.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2007): straight up, you should not even be considering going back with him whether this threat is there or not. you will never be able to overcome this fear. maybe a scum like that will someday have a girlfriend but it sure shouldn't be you.
i think the part of you that likes him is a subconcious/twisted reaction to this past event.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (28 April 2007):
 You're young and what your ex-boyfriend did to you was horrible. I can understand your need for having somebody love you, right now, but this guy can NOT give you what you need. I agree with the rabbit in that you shouldn't go back to such a total JERK.
I would like to add that you need to tell someone of what happened, not to charge him with rape (as I believe it will be a bit late for you to be able to prove it in court) but to deal with this emotionally: if you had your virginity taken by a rapist and you're considering going back to him; then you have been so badly damaged emotionally that you need professional help to get yourself back to something that would be more similar to "normal".
You may have been ashamed and never told anyone of the rape. A lot of women react that way. I was sexually harassed (peanuts compare to your case) a year ago and never told anyone until a year later, because I was ashamed and I thought it was my fault in a very illogic way. And it screwed up my self-confidence.
So please, for your own good, get yourself in touch with a therapist. What happened to you was horrible, but you owe it to yourself to work through the emotions so it won't have too much influence over all the other relationships that you will have in your life.
Respect yourself.
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A
female
reader, Lau-sta +, writes (28 April 2007):
 if it was me i wouldnt got back if i was scared as thats my body telling me that i dont trust him.
What he did was really WRONG and he asking for you back i wouldn't go there i know that easy saying it but its different when its you and its some one you love but no one and i mean no one worth the hurt because there is a chance it mite do it again
am not been mean but you would be silly going back to him he hurt you when you said no he still went ahead with but even takin you feeling in.
just ask your self how long will it take for you to get other him and move on ?????? not that long but if ypu go back you could get stuck in a very bad relationship !!!!!!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): Well, there has been a recent flux of new threads about this very similar issue. I think to stand out and away from the norm of sugar coated supportive replies, I'll be a bit harsher here (this reminds me of an argument I had with Irish over a year ago).
Look, most right-minded individuals here on DC will tell you that you will make a big mistake by going back to such a [insert vulgar word here] jerk, and that you probably deserve better, and that you are only in love with this guy because you don't love yourself enough, etc, etc, etc. However, I'll change that usual pace and tell you that you should go back to him. Hey, some people 'deserve' second chances, and your ex is no exception. Sure, he is a [insert vulgar word here] and a [insert vulgar word here] which I would gladly push off a cliff and land a giant boulder on his [insert vulgar word here] ass, but well that's just me.
If he hurts you again, and you still don't learn to stop doing such mistakes again and again, then well, you deserve to be hurt. However, I have just have to say, do you have absolutely NO dignity and self-preservation of pride and honor? This boy who raped you... My gosh! And you're asking if you should give him a second chance.
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